A G.F.G.F. to You Too...
When I was a little girl, I hated attending church at this time of year. Most Sundays the big people talked about being good to each other, love one another and sing a happy song...sounded good to me, I could handle that!
Good Friday and Easter was a different tune all together. Every year the same sad, somber melody reached my little ears and made my heart ache.
"There was a man who was good and perfect. For no apparent reason, some bad people that the man loved, got together and tortured and murdered him."
The message was always the same with variation on the gruesomness of the detail, depending on the preacher. Every year the point was the same, why should something so horrible happen to such a good man? For me. This thought did not bring me joy or freedom. Reading the somber, guilty faces of the big people around me, guilt and shame seemed the most appropriate response to this scenario.
What a horrible notion! I had caused the unimaginably grotesque demise of someone who only wanted to love me... why would I do such a thing? Like any good Christian girl, I allowed myself to be overwhelmed with the proper combination of guilt and gratitude. Every year, the same sad story, and every year I would listen again, and every year I would grip myself for the heart wrenching emotional response that would follow...more guilt, grief and shame.
This year is the first year, that something is completely different for me!
As I listened to Carmen's song "This Blood is For You" the other day, I felt an overwhelming peace and joy come over me. Same story, different response. Hmmmmmm....
Could it be the music in the background?
I listened again.
Nope! Somber music. Gruesome detail in the song. What is going on here?
After listening a few more times, I realized something inside me had changed. I was FREED from the "appropriate response" of my childhood perception. That human response was replaced with a response that matched up with the more mature understanding of my adult mind. In my adult understanding I knew that my sin was the purpose and not the cause of Jesus' death. (My childhood perception did not make this differentiation) He could have jumped off the cross at any time but chose to stay because He loved me more than He hated what was happening to Him.
He chose me, and He's not sorry that He did SO guilt is an inappropriate response to the cross!
Suddenly, my dread of church at this time of year melted away, and I actually wanted to hear the story again. Now I want to hear it again, with a new mind and a new response.
Its not the somber durge that I heard as a child, its a love song! Even better, its a love song about me! My lover would go through unimaginable adversity just to meet me! Its a Cinderella love song, my favorite kind of love song.
So this Easter, I want to wish you all a Guilt-Free Good Friday!
If you go to church this weekend and hear a somber durge that fills you with shame and guilt, take a moment and listen.
There is an underlying melody of love song being sung for you, if you quiet your thoughts and really listen, you will hear it too.
When I was a little girl, I hated attending church at this time of year. Most Sundays the big people talked about being good to each other, love one another and sing a happy song...sounded good to me, I could handle that!
Good Friday and Easter was a different tune all together. Every year the same sad, somber melody reached my little ears and made my heart ache.
"There was a man who was good and perfect. For no apparent reason, some bad people that the man loved, got together and tortured and murdered him."
The message was always the same with variation on the gruesomness of the detail, depending on the preacher. Every year the point was the same, why should something so horrible happen to such a good man? For me. This thought did not bring me joy or freedom. Reading the somber, guilty faces of the big people around me, guilt and shame seemed the most appropriate response to this scenario.
What a horrible notion! I had caused the unimaginably grotesque demise of someone who only wanted to love me... why would I do such a thing? Like any good Christian girl, I allowed myself to be overwhelmed with the proper combination of guilt and gratitude. Every year, the same sad story, and every year I would listen again, and every year I would grip myself for the heart wrenching emotional response that would follow...more guilt, grief and shame.
This year is the first year, that something is completely different for me!
As I listened to Carmen's song "This Blood is For You" the other day, I felt an overwhelming peace and joy come over me. Same story, different response. Hmmmmmm....
Could it be the music in the background?
I listened again.
Nope! Somber music. Gruesome detail in the song. What is going on here?
After listening a few more times, I realized something inside me had changed. I was FREED from the "appropriate response" of my childhood perception. That human response was replaced with a response that matched up with the more mature understanding of my adult mind. In my adult understanding I knew that my sin was the purpose and not the cause of Jesus' death. (My childhood perception did not make this differentiation) He could have jumped off the cross at any time but chose to stay because He loved me more than He hated what was happening to Him.
He chose me, and He's not sorry that He did SO guilt is an inappropriate response to the cross!
Suddenly, my dread of church at this time of year melted away, and I actually wanted to hear the story again. Now I want to hear it again, with a new mind and a new response.
Its not the somber durge that I heard as a child, its a love song! Even better, its a love song about me! My lover would go through unimaginable adversity just to meet me! Its a Cinderella love song, my favorite kind of love song.
So this Easter, I want to wish you all a Guilt-Free Good Friday!
If you go to church this weekend and hear a somber durge that fills you with shame and guilt, take a moment and listen.
There is an underlying melody of love song being sung for you, if you quiet your thoughts and really listen, you will hear it too.
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