Awwww MAN!!!!

My kids are sick.
I hate this time of year.

Cold coming.....colds coming....Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

ps....snot is gross!

Second Nature...

There is a song that was popular on the radio last year that had the line, "Tell me all your thoughts on God". That's what my girls have been doing for the last couple of days. Its seems that thinking about God and talking about Him has become second nature to them.
For Example,
Bella: I know! We have an extra seat in our van, we can invite GOD to sit in it.
Becca: God is too big to fit in our van, He's bigger than everything.
Bella: (Offended) Becca!!! I was just THINKING about it.

Yesterday Rebecca was making up a song on the way to school.
God is great, great, great, great, great. He is so great. He is so great.
Don'cha be scaird because He is great, great, great, great....etc....

Isabella was yelling at the top of her lungs in the van, "Hey Everybody! Bless me! Come on in and bless! Don't be afraid to BLESS ME! Bless me and bless my body! Bless me!"

I hope they always feel like God is another person in our family. I'm sure the reverence and sovereignty of God part of things will come as they age and mature (I hope) but for now I am happy they are comfortable with a friendly God who doesn't frighten them. I'm a little nervous about trying to teach them the fear of God and I trust that there will opportunities for that part of God to be revealed to them later. I'm not sure what age that sort of thing is appropriate so I will wait....

Late Night T.V....

We have a show here called Four Square that the girls love to watch. The people sing lots of silly little songs and use four part harmony. Its like The Nylons for kids.

Here is a conversation I overheard in the car yesterday regarding Four Square.

Isabella: Do you like Four Square?
Rebecca: Yay, but did you ever watch Seven Square?
I: No, I nevered saw that one.
R: How about the show Ten Square, did you see that one?
I: No, did you?
R: No those shows are high numbers and only adults watch them after bedtime.

I laughed my head off.

The Upside...

Last night I watched the movie, "The Upside of Anger". Basically, a woman who is left by her husband with four girls to raise gets caught up in bitterness.

Watching it, I could see (seething fury aside) how difficult it would be for a single mom to raise girls. There were so many needs, for both the mom and girls, that couldn't be met by either side. The dad had been a stabilizing factor in their lives for a long time.

My point?

If D.J. ever dies I am so HOOPED!!! I would not want to raise my girls alone. Teenage girls can be wicked mean!!! I can see now how much Rebecca needs her dad already, I would be terrified of wrecking her if I ever had to do it myself.

This summer when we were out for a walk, D.J. said to me that Rebecca will always need a strong father figure in her life so if he evers dies, I should re-marry. He knows his daughter (and me) so well.

So, is my plan to re-marry instantly, if DJ ever kicks off?
Nope! My plan is to remain on my knees asking God to keep him alive for the rest of my life!!
He is the perfect dad for Rebecca and I do my best to fill in the gaps!

Well, that post was a morbid start to the day, was it not???
HAPPY TUESDAY everyone!!!! Try not think about death all day!!!
*hitting my head*
Stupid Erica! Stupid!

Random Thoughts...

The other morning Isabella woke me up with this statement, "Wake up mom! It will be Christmas soon!" ---Egad! What a thought! I'm not ready for that to be true!---

I had a party Friday night for my sister because she is awesome and deserves a party. Also because she got an awesome new job to suite her awesome self. I had brain wave about using chocolate mousse as filling on her chocolate cake with chocolate icing and chocolate sprinkles. (She like chocolate...alot!) I thought it was brilliant, why hadn't anyone thought of this before?
I'll tell you why.
Chocolate mousse has a consistency somewhere between WD-30 and snot. The cake was so slippery that the top layer kept sliding right off the cake. I'd put it back on and get out my trowel to stick it back on with mounds of sticky icing. Yet it continually slid right off again!
Finally I got fed up, and slapped the cake back together and cut it in slices before it could slip off again, it was like a scene from I Love Lucy.
The bottom line...I will not be invited to appear on the new show Martha Live! Unless of course, she is looking for a kitchen Stooge!!!

Rebecca is telling everyone she is four and a half. Isabella piped up, "Yeah, well I'm three and a CORNER!"

I have a great family. They came to the party on Friday night. Its nice to be around people that know you and its safe to just "be". I just rested without feeling the need to host. I just listened and laughed...my brothers are very funny. It was very pleasant. I hope my kids find peace, belonging and acceptance like that in our little family. It is a gift.

Just In Case...

Just in case there is anybody out there who needs a new car, or knows someone who does.
We are selling our car now.

Its a 1998 Mazda 626...

We are asking $7000

PS The oil stain on the ground in the photo was left by a big truck that parks under our tree, not by our car!

If anyone is interested or knows someone who is, send them our way.
Thanks

When the Cat's Away...

DJ left Tuesday for Gam-ee-lee (Bella's word for Gimli). Since he was gone for a few days, I've been out partying with my girls.

Yesterday, I picked them up from pre-school and we went to a matinee. We saw Madagascar.
Rebecca laughed and loved the movie. Isabella loved the popcorn, and she liked the movie too!

We got home late, mommy made a Thai stir-fry, we ate a late supper and hit the hay.

I haven't been able to blog as the computer decided to act up while the I.T. guy was out of town.
My only recourse is cuss it out and call it names.
Does it work?
Are you reading this blog right now?

My I.T. guy comes home tonight, maybe he'll have a clue how to be sure the computer doesn't misbehave again! Is it illegal to spank a computer?

It's Official!!!

Well, its official. My husband came home from work tonight and booked my flight.
I will be going with him to Lake Louise for FOUR whole days and nights in October!


We'll be staying at the Fairmont, the beautiful hotel in this picture.
While he is at the conference all day, I'll have the day to myself to do absolutely nothing.
Well, except perhaps visit the spa. Mmmmmm....spa....

I'm super excited!
Yay! Yay for me!

My Goofy Girls...

We went to the cabin on Saturday.
Here is a photo of the girls goofing off on the dock.
So silly....

Another Psalm...

Though I am foolish, You protect me

Your mercy is a shield around me

Your see fit to protect me every hour.

How can this be?

What have I done to deserve your love?

Why do you clothe me in loving kindness?

There is no answer but "I loved you first"

You adopted me, my heart is overwhelmed.

I've never known acceptance like this.

This love brings me to tear, this joy to laughter.

Even now, knowing You, I hear my quiet fear,

"But can I trust You?"

At the sound of Your voice, my heart fills with joyful tears;

"As I have been, I will always be, I never change"

You show me our history together.

Your mercy, protection, provision, justice and grace

You have always provided without fail.

You are trustworthy,

Bathed in Your presence I rest in Your promise.

All that I am is due to Your heart for me

You are for me

All I have was given by Your hand

There is no end to Your mercy

All I will ever become is written by Your hand alone

I am Yours.

My Dad...

My dad is a bushman. Not in the sense that he belongs to a tribe of Australia's outback. He's a bushman because you could parachute him blind-folded anywhere in northern Canada and he would find his way back. He wouldn't return home ragged or hungry either. He would have a stomach full of his latest kill (various creatures he considers edible) and wearing that animal's hide as a jacket. More than likely, he would have some extra hides and a bag full of empty beer cans to sell.

I was thinking last night about listening to my dad and some of his trapper friends talking when I was young. I remember listening (not because I was a part of the conversation but because I was nosy) to stories about animals caught in traps who chewed off their legs in order to escape. Rather than go to sleep and die, as some animals do, they would chew off a foot and walk away.

Oddly enough this reminds me of myself as a Christian trying to figure out how I fit into church. (Not talking about my home church but any church)Often I feel that I don't fit into Christian church culture, and I am "trapped" by a certain code of behaviour that is expected.

Can I avoid all religious people because it is difficult. As someone who loves Jesus, I am apart of the body. I can't cut myself off from body and walk away, then I'm just a dead foot laying in a trap with no hope for life.

Many people who find church difficult just go to another one. They soon find they've exchanged one kind of trap for another. Some chew off their foot and stop being apart of the body all together.

I am trying to live free and avoid the traps set out for me. I am not trying to be cryptic by traps in church I mean, "fear of rejection", "desire for acceptance so that I would behave differently" or "fear of man" etc...

Maybe freedom is struggle for everyone, not just in churches, but in school, work, with friends, or social clubs. What is it to be free of these pressures?

DISCLAIMER:
I realize that in this analogy my dad is the devil so just to be clear, I do not think that my dad is satan!

NOW I Remember...

The other day I was making BLT subs for supper. I thought I should use that griddle we got as a wedding gift. It was sitting collecting dust in the cupboard.

I took it out and cooked the bacon. It cooked quick and clean, the grease dripping neatly into the little container underneath. Why don't I use this thing more often?
What a fabulous invention!

The other day I made BLT subs for supper. I was cleaning the HUGE griddle caked with grease and grime which stuck to the TEFLON like white on rice. As I scrubbed, I thought who make something so awkward to clean in the sink? You have to keep flipping it around to clean it.
What a stupid invention!

You know I don't have enough things in the cupboard collecting dust, back you go, little griddle!

Another Day at the Lab...

Early childhood development research tells us that children will test the boundaries their parents set for them. This is a healthy way to gain independence. When their testing is met with consistent standards, it creates a sense of security in knowing the care-giver is in control.

Well, that's all fine and dandy but don't you think this research focuses too much on the child? There are two subjects in this discipline scenario. What about the person applying the standards and boundaries? Don't they deserve a bit of research too?

I feel that further research is warranted. You can look for the results of my research in April's issue of Psychology Today, but lucky blog readers get a sneak preview here.

Testing Environment: Driving a mini-van in rush hour traffic
Stimuli : Two pre-school children hopped up on sugar, bent on crushing adult boundaries
Subject: Mother of two pre-school children
Subject's Goal: Attempting to set boundaries consist with human decency

Research Query: When the stimuli are introduced into the testing environment how will the
subject respond?
Research Goal: To record the subject's psycological and physical responses during conflict
(ie. realizing her goal is being challenged by the stimuli)

Stimuli Introduction:
1. Children repeat non-sensical syllables repeatedly and loudly
2. Subject requests the use of an "inside voice"
3. Request is ignored
4. Stimulus #2 begins poking stimulus #1 and loud laughter ensues
5. After 4 sequential pokes stimulus #1 begins to cry followed with loud wails of "Mooommmm"

Physical Symptoms:
After several minutes of exposure to stimuli, the subject displays physiological changes.
The tension in the shoulders is apparent as the neck bends forward and shoulders rise, the clenched jaw indicates tension which is supported by evidence of increased blood pressure.
Blood pressure increase is assumed due to facial color changing from a flushed red to a bright purple matching the bulging blood vessel on her forehead.

Note to self: The blue vein emerging from the forehead forms a lovely contrast with the white knuckles gripping the steering wheel. Must consider this color combination in painting kitchen.

Psychological Symptoms:
Aside from the cuckoo birds flying in circles around the subject's head, other signs of psychological instability begin to appear. These signs include banging head against the steering wheel, pulling out chunks of hair and general shrill shrieking resembling a banchee.

Conclusion:
Perhaps past moral and ethical standards on child rearing have been too quick to judge. It seems that the ritual of killing and eating one's young may not be so primitive after all. In light of this new research, this method of discipline seems quite logical, practical and may prove to be an effective stress reducer.

A Psalm...

Media offers no peace to my soul

Evidence of sorrow flash before my eyes

Violence, poverty and strife breach flood walls

People curse God as unjust and turn away

From under the murky clouds of earth I look up

My heart knows you are Just

Your truth rains down drops of revelation

I watch your hand release Justice and Mercy

Your ways are hidden from those who curse your name

In the midst of fear, death and disease;

Your servants always find a safe place to rest

When I see dark forces ravage the earth,

Distress seeps into my flesh and my body aches.

I am overwhelmed, I long for sleep, for escape

Yet one moment of truth in You melts away my anguish

In you I find rest that restores my body and soul

My spirit rises above this delicate realm

I am not subject to the unstable state of the nations

I pledge myself to kingship of Heaven

The warrior King in on His throne

I devote my life to His rule and reign

My homage to the King is met with strength

I am filled with understanding beyond my ability

One small girl will set thousands to flight

I rest in the battlefield, with His shield over me.

Dave and Rich...

Lately I have enjoyed reading the psalms (the "p" is silent!). When I feel overwhelmed by life, they remind me that I'm not the only one who has ever felt tossed by circumstances. I also have been enjoying listening to my Rich Mullins CD... repeatedly!

It took me about a week of reading the psalms and listening to Rich (my pet name for him) before I realized how similar the two writers were. Rich (my buddy, first name basis!) and Dave (aka King David, Major King of Israel, man with a heart after God's own heart.) I hope they don't mind the familiarity, but if they do, I'll hear about it on the "other side"!!!

Both of these artists/song writers/worshippers found their peace and solice in God. Whether times were good....and they wrote light and celebratory songs...

Dave...Psalm 98
4 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth,
burst into jubilant song with music;
5 make music to the LORD with the harp,
with the harp and the sound of singing,
6 with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn—
shout for joy before the LORD, the King.
7 Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.
8 Let the rivers clap their hands,
Let the mountains sing together for joy;
9 let them sing before the Lord,

Rich...Sing Your Praise to the Lord
Give your praise to the Lord
Come on everybody
Stand up and sing one more, "Hallelujah"
Give your praise to the Lord
I could never tell you just how much
Good that it's bound to do you
Just to sing

Or when things were hard, and they wrote intimate cries for help...

Dave...Psalm 55

1 Listen to my prayer, O God,
not ignore my plea;
2 hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
3 at the voice of the enemy,
at the stares of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger.
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death assail me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me….
16 But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.
17 Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.

Rich....Hold Me Jesus

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

They both found the same answer in good or bad circumstances. Either way, no matter how life was going, they prayed and spoke with God.

I think that this wisdom is a way for artistic people to find the stability they so desparately need. Because artists with hearts like Rich and Dave, are deeply feeling, they can be easily swayed by how circumstances make them feel.
Its like a double battle...you have to deal with the circumstances and how they make you feel.
I think this can make life overwhelming.

I'm not saying that I am artist, as there is no evidence to support to such claim. However, I think I have artistic tendencies (emotionally) and I need the same answer that Rich and Dave found to keep me stable...emotionally, mentally and any other facets that may become unbalanced.

See? I don't need therapy. I just need to take up psalm writing.
I think I just might do that!

Help!


I need God.

I know I always need God, but today I really know it!

My Mini-Me Girl...

Everyone has many different facets to their personality. We are different people to suit different situations. Eg. I can be a tough drill sargeant while running a youth center, and I can be a soft prissy princess at a cocktail party.

I am big on the soft, warm, fuzzy feelings. I love to love and be loved. But when I'm playing sports I'll hurt you, and make sure you don't get up again!!! (well, maybe not quite that aggressive but close! ;)

This morning Rebecca and Isabella were playing basketball with some boxes I'd set up with smaller balls. (*aside*I'm having trouble teaching Bella how to throw, she's a lefty!!!)

Rebecca threw a couple of balls. She stopped, and looked at me, "Mom, I have to get my stuff to play basketball." She ran up the stairs. When she came back down, she was wearing a tiara and long pink gloves with fur trim. With a big smile she said, "Okay, now I'm ready." She picked up the ball and continued to play basketball as "the queen".

Just like mom. No reason that princess and athlete can't go together! Perhaps the wardrobes don't really overlap but we'll deal with that later. Right now as long as she is scoring, feeling and looking fabulous doing it, we're all happy.

Super Suckage!!!

My parenting over the last two days has been el-crappo!
I have handled the stress of starting school and work in a manner that should be flushed!

All I can do now is pray for mercy for my children. Help God! Help! I need a truckload of grace so I can handle this better and the back hoe of mercy to come dig out whatever damage that I have just done.

Addition stress is no excuse for crappy parenting!

Sewage parenting, NO MORE!!! God help me do this better!!!!!

First Day of School!!!

Yesterday was Isabella's first day of pre-school.
When I woke her up, I said, "Bella, today is the day! Its your first day of school!" She excitedly answered, "My birthday of school???"

She was equally excited about going to school and getting to wear a "fancy dress".
She looked so small trying to get into the van....


So to all the moms and kids out there today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY OF SCHOOL!!!!

What's In a Name???

We thought we had given our daughters such pretty names, Rebecca and Isabella. They sound pretty, and they have lovely meanings.
Rebecca means "Bound to God"
Isabella means "Consecrated to God"

What a great way to go through life, having people call your name several times a day, inadvertently calling your destiny, unaware of what they are doing. (Which is why I never named my kids with names that meant "evil beast" or "wicked little troll". )

Anyway, my lovely daughters have informed me that they have changed their names. Isabella is now called "Kath-er-ine" (prounced with dignity) and Rebecca informs me that I should call her "Salsa".
They have complied with each other's wishes and have been calling each other by their new names, all morning. Yesterday Bella wanted Angela and Rebecca wanted Coco, but it seems they are now happy with Katherine and Salsa.

Never a dull moment around here! Anyone know what Katherine and Salsa means? If it has anything to do with an evil troll, I'm putting a stop to this right now!

Line From Rich Mullins...

Surrender don't come natural to me.

I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want

than to take what you give that I need.

Been there.

Done that.

And I hope I'm growing out of it!