Erica online

Saturday, February 9

Sean Hogan is a Brat!

It is clear that I have not updated my blog in a long time.
I have lots of reasons for that and some damn good excuses too.
Excuses are lame, and people who use them are lame.
Harsh! I know but whining irritates me, even when its coming from me.
So I won't go into detail.

The reasons I haven't blogged in a long time have culminated into a short leave of absence from work to deal with family health issues. Thus my leave of absense from work has eliminated my excuses for not blogging.
So here I am. Its been 6 monthes and lots has happened since my last update.
I don't know where to begin, much has happened.
While I think about where to start....too overwhelming at the moment...I will blog about my thoughts as I was waking early this morning.

Thought #1 - I wish Isabella would stop playing that recorder! My ear-balls are going bleaf!

Thought #2 - Why hasn't the man servant arrived with my wine and cheese yet?

Thought #3 - Why is it that God leads people to good places, and good people. People and places that we easily abandon. Why is it that when I pray and ask for answers, I get more than answers. I find peace, patience, wisdom and love. Why is that every word from Jesus brings us the acceptance we crave and make us feel loved? Why is Jesus so nice? Why would I look away from good, peace, wisdom to chase love from broken people? People who are as needy as I am. I want acceptance, validation and praise from people who are ill-equipt to meet my needs. As I am to meet their needs. Relationship is frought with disappointment, rejection and unfulfilled need. Why then, is this painful reality such a driving force of motivation for all of mankind? If we deny our need for human relationship, what is the alternative?
Lonliness? Bitterness? Synacism? Pride?
Perhaps relationships, the very cause of pain and hurt are the things that make us grow as people. Isn't it through pain that we experience compassion? Isn't it compassion that teaches us mercy? Isn't it judgment that bring humility and grace for others so we don't inflict the same judgements on others?
When our short-coming are exposed in relationships, produce moments that kill our pride, do they not?
Isn't it those moments that we expect disappointment and are met with love that break down our synical mindsets? Isn't it the heart-to-heart connection that we share with other humans, the very thing that melt away lonliness and let us laugh?
If God is good and can fill all my needs, why then did He create in me a need for relationship? How long will this season of hiding away and running from potential pain last? Is it almost at an end? Am I a grown-up yet? Do I know the source enough yet?

Thought #4 - I'm hungry. I should get up and have breakfast and feed my kids too.

Thought #5 - Sean Hogan is a brat. That is why he is such a great friend.
Erica at 10:33 AM


OpenID dialsforme said...

a brat who gets results!

4:06 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

you could say
"ha! ha! made you blog! made you blog!"

5:42 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Welcome back Erica , I missed you girl! May Kindness wrap you in His embrace today. Love you :)

I thought we had lost you to Facebook for ever :)

6:23 PM  
Blogger Jude said...

Good thoughts.
I'm sorry to hear about your "family health problems" whatever they may be. I hope your time off is refreshing for you.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

what time on Sunday?

9:03 PM  

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