Blaaaauuuuck!

My husband and I were considering getting a new bedding set so we've been looking at different patterns on-line. So far, I hate everything.
Flowers is much too feminine for his taste.
Plaid is much too masculine for my taste.

Do you know what comes between flowers and plaid?
Tacky and Drab!
That's what!

(It could be that I'm just really tired and grumpy or else all the bed sets are horrible! Hard to say what's what at the moment!)

Similies Overdone...

Attempting to be a hack writer is not a goal to which many people aspire. It is a feat accomplished by many, however unintentionally. Since my gigantoid fear of failure holds me
back from any serious attempt at writing, I figure a non-serious down-right silly effort might be more my style.
Many success gurus suggest to starting small, aiming for an achievable goal at the outset of any endeavor. I am fairly confident that I can overuse similies (and mixed metaphors) to create a silly, humorous story while keeping my neurotic fear of failure (and success) in tact.
{It is important that we protect our little bits of insanity because if we were all healed and whole, what kind of world would that be?} *That's called rhetoric PEOPLE!!!*

Content Warning: The following exerpt from my brain contains more similies than a person should ingest in one sitting. Side effects from reading this post may include nausea, vomiting, headache, eye throbbing, diarrhea and general anal leakage.

Saturday was a crisp winter day, the fresh covering of snow on the
hill made it look like a large white wedding cake. The
children's footprints reminded me of tiny icing rosebuds completing the
effect. I surveyed the backyard with new eyes like an anthropologist on a
distant planet. My view of our house suddenly transformed in a
warm wave of nostalgia. My prison walls became a fortress of
strength, comfort and provision. In my excitement over a new house I
had forgotten to mourn the loss of a childhood home, like a soldier rushing off
to war to escape the monotony of the farm only to long for mother's nagging
voice in a blood soaked field.
In an unexpected moment of desparation I clung to childhood memories like a drowing rat. I placed my daughter in the maple tree my brothers had climbed attempting to preserve the delicate heirloom of family memoirs. Her laughter transported me like a magical portal through time back to a moment when I stood under the same tree with a sense of majestic wonder. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude like a zealous new-born christian overcome by the meaning of salvation. I was so blessed to be raised under the shade of this maple
tree with a family that loved and nurtured me. Was it an act of prodigal
ingratitude to sell the very bosom of my family's hearth?
The truth dawned on me like the rays of the morning sun. The house
had been oyster shell of nacre but the pearl was my family, and I could say
good-bye to the shell without losing the treasure I cherished. I
completed the emotional process of moving, packed up the joy and sorrows that I
had experienced at this address and marked the box "childhood memories".
Like day follows night, the excitement of our future home bubbled to the
surface once again. The circle of life would continue with my children's
memories being formed within the walls of our new home. However,
there was still i's to dot and t's to cross on this transfer letter, the
transition wouldn't be complete without one last slide down the little hill in
the park so that is exactly what we did! We took one last ride on our pink
and red sleds before moving on to search out new hills to climb.

Just Breathe...

I am taking a break from packing and cleaning to catch up on paperwork today.

My children are being cared for while I work and do play catch-up with my job.

But I seriously did take a nice lunch break, I had lunch with my sister and little brother at this place called the Plaza.
Its a little hole in the wall but they have very yummy treats for me!!!!

Confessions of a Pack-Rat...

We've all heard the saying, "everytime you hear a bell ring, a fairy gets its wings".
I have a new adage to add to our popular culture, "everytime you throw out a momento, a pack-rat dies of a massive coronary heart attack!"

While packing for the new house, I am forced to sift through bags, boxes and drawers of long-forgotten treasures.
Yes, its true that I haven't seen these items in 3 years but they still mean something to me.
For some reason or other, we bonded. They are my loyal friends, how can I part with them?
A piece of ribbon from the pew at my wedding.
A broken glass trinket that Isabella bought me on mother's day.
An old cross-word puzzle that I vowed to complete (without help) stuffed in a drawer.
A little craft made of popsicle sticks that Rebecca painted for me.
A small compact of dark purple eyeshadow that I'll never wear but it came with the set (I can't throw it out, its BRAND new).
A half-burned up candle that my friend Olga made for me.

I treasure my little collection of gifts even though I know that I should be clearing out space and cluttering up the new space before I even get there...But on the other hand....
MAKE ME!!!

Ps...Don't tell my sister that I am keeping this stuff or she really will make me. Seriously, she'll come over and throw out my stuff. I'm not kidding.

Hardy Har Har...

Yesterday my clever daughter Rebecca came up with a good joke.
After watching "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" she asked,
"Hey mom! What if there was a PEE bear?"
She then burst into fits of laughter!!

Ahhh...potty humour!!!

Hairstyling Hints...

Have you ever asked the question, "when is it time to get my roots done?"

Well, if you have asked that question, I now know the answer.
Read on...

This morning my lovely four year old crawled into bed for a cuddle. With her head on my pillow, she quietly rested while playing with my hair.
My husband rose out of bed to dress for the day and turned on the light to be sure his socks matched. (Years of training brought about this little habit)
With the light now shining on my blonde locks, my daughter sat up and started to look more closely at my head.
With a big grin, she complimented by saying, "Mommy, your hair is sooooo pretty! Its starting to get black just like Bella's! Wow!"

So now we know. Its time to get your roots done when the blonde starts to turn black!
ha ha ha

Developing a Theme...

Here are some of Isabella's comments this morning:
If you really concentrate, you can see a theme developing right before your eyes.

"My name is not Bella, its SUPER-Bella!"

"No, I don't want apple juice, I want SUPER-apple juice!"

"Look! My SUPER-egg is touching my sister's SUPER-egg in the SUPER-pan"

"Let's SUPER-pray!"

"Mom can you put my SUPER-egg on my SUPER-toast???"

Did you spot the theme?

The Optomist...

Every parent thinks it is great when they see a little bit of themselves in their children. I think I'm an optomist and I try to find the brightside whenever I can.
eg. Using chicken pox to encourage counting to higher numbers

Yesterday while riding in the van we were listening a CD by Casting Crowns. Here is a snippet of the lyrics from the song "Voice of Truth" that were playing....

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me Time and time again,

"Boy, You'll never win!" "You'll never win!"

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story

The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"

And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe

The Voice of Truth

Isabella was listening intently to the song and she blurted out,

"WHAT is he talking about? OF COURSE we win!!!"

(thus proving that the optomism gene has been passed on!!!)

I explained "that is what the song is about, not listening to the lies and knowing that we will win! The voice of truth is Jesus, and you just said what Jesus says."

Isabella replied, "I did??? Wow! Hey you guys! I said what Jesus says! Yay! I said what Jesus said! Did you know that Rebecca? I said what Jesus said."

This line of thought continued on into a chant..."I said what Jesus said. I said what Jesus said!" etc etc etc...

You Are Such a Frog!!!

People are hilarious! In our never-ending search for a better understanding of our fellow human beings we create formulas to explain human behaviour.
Personality theories which categorize patterns of behaviour abound.
Each theory offers a different explanation as to why your husband left his sock on the floor rather than in the laundry basket.

Imagine how the marital arguments over the last generation have been shaped by various personality theories:

Enneagram or other "animal typing":
"You are such a frog! You did it again! You hopped off the log just like the therapist said you would and now I'm all warty again!!! Typical!"

Myers-Briggs:
"Stop thinking you big jerk, I'm trying to tell you how I feel! Remember what the test said? I am a sensitive feeler and you are a cold, heartless robot, uh..I mean thinker. You are so T.G.I.F.!!!"

Color-Typing:
"Oh great! There you go being all purple again! I need GREEN!!!! Would it kill you to give me some green? Even a little blue might be nice but NOOOO!!! You gotta take the blue and throw RED all over it, and I end up having the same purple conversation! AGAIN!"

Gender-Typing:
"Oh yeah? Well I might be from Venus but at least I speak a little Martian!! If you love Mars so much don't you go live there?"

There is also birth-order typing, and type-A/type-B comparisons, the lists go on and on.
I am thinking about making one up so I can make a quick million and retire in the south of France. How about vegetables? That might helpful in a heated arguement.

"Typical carrot! I ask you a juicy, rind question and you give me a rigid, straight answer!"
"Well, at least I don't broccoli floret a hundred ideas at once and confuse you!"
"Hey the therapist said floretting was good for me! It helps me focus!"
"Yeah but while you are processing the folic acid is burning my brain!"
"Then why don't you leave me alone in the crisper for while and go cool off with some of your celery friends??!?!"
"Fine! But when I get back I expect those avacados to be firm!"

I think I might have something here!

Unmysterious God...

I've noticed lately as I chat with people in the workplace, the discussion of spiritual matters is no longer taboo. There is an openness to ideas about life being more than it seems, inexplicable happening, and the existence of spiritual beings. This openness to prayer or meditation was not there even 10 years ago.

The general public uses different words than Christians (as they don't speak Christianese) to describe ideas that are very similar to what churches have experienced in the last 30 years.

While there are many similarities between the tempered experience of new age religion that has seeped into the general public and christianity, there are some marked differences as well.

I have encountered an openness to spirituality but in very vague or mysterious terms. People are accepting of the idea of things greater than themselves. Mysteries beyond understanding is a very "in" topic. For instance, dreaming and interpreting dreams is new and exciting. The idea of "hearing a voice" and following it is intriguing.

There is an accepted ideal that following these inclinations may lead to something good (or not), and then that would be considered a miracle. Whether or not a miracle ever happened to you again, is doubtful but it would be cool to remember it. (the day the stars aligned etc)

I find this very different than my experience of God.
My experience is not so random and mysterious.
The idea of a supreme being with the ability to lay-out a strategic destiny for each person is consitant with my experience.
The understanding of spirituality I've encountered at work does not include this element. The thought of random spiritual encounters colliding with people is more comfortable than the idea of following a plan laid out by an omnipotent God that wants to lead people into the best for their lives.

Perhaps it is a pushing away of the authoritative, judging God presented by the church in the past century. Happy, floating angel fairies is easier to accept than an ever-present God whose plan for our lives we may choose.

As I share the stories in the "market places of the world" (some Christianese for ya) about how we got our van and our new house, there is definite interest in the miracle. But the idea of destiny in God is still a little strange to some people. The idea that this path will be an on-going relationship with God is fascinating but doubtful.
Now I get to explain the omnipotent, judging, all-powerful God who actually LOVES me and with whom I have daily conversation about a pre-destined plan for my life.

That ought to be fun!!!
No, seriously, I think it will be fun.

Observant Child...

Yesterday Rebecca announced she would not be watching the Olympics.
When I asked why not, she replied very matter-of-factly, " its too much sports."

ha ha ha
If weren't for all the sports, I might watch the Olympics too!

Expensive George...

On Friday night, my husband and I took our girls to go see the new movie "Curious George."
The movie was great, very cute and sweet and funny for little people.
HOWEVER

(If you have listened to someone complain about the price of movie theaters in the last week, you have filled your quota and you may stop reading the rest of this post right now. If you have not had this conversation lately, read on because the price of movies is OUTRAGEOUS!!!).

For 2 adults and 2 children, it costs $34.50 JUST FOR THE TICKETS!!!
The popcorn and drinks were an additional $15.25!!

That's $50.00 RIGHT THERE!!! Seriously, $50.00!!!!!

You know what else I could do for $50.00???
Here are some ideas...(I thought you'd never ask)

• I could make 6 spaghetti dinners to feed a family of four
• I could buy 43 of ANYTHING at Dollarama
• I could go anywhere in Winnipeg on the bus 25 times (in theory...I hate the bus)
• I could see 22 movies at Cinema City
• I could rent 50 movies at the library
• I could buy 29 large slurpees
• I could eat 34 cheeseburgers from Wendy's (including taxes)
• I could take the bus to Selkirk 8 times (again, I wouldn't but I could)
• I could buy 74 chocolate bars at the dollar store
• I could take a limo to the airport
• I could buy myself a decent moisturizer

The fact remains, if I had it to do over again, I would do it the exact same way.

My kids loved the movie and that is all that matters, HOWEVER...that doesn't change the fact that movie theater prices are RIDICULOUS!!!

That is my rant for the week.

Sphere of Influence...

I like to imagine that I have some influence over my children's lives. As parents we like to believe that our constant repetitions are slowly sinking into our children's hearts and minds.

This delusional fantasy is obliterated whenever I go head-to-head with my daughters.
One such incident occurred about 6 monthes ago.

We received an adorable Bugle Boy denim overalls set. It was just the right size for Rebecca and I thought she would look so cute in it. However, she refused to wear them. No matter how much I coaxed, pleaded or commanded did not matter. She was not going to wear the overalls.
Why?
Apparently overalls make you look like a boy.

I left the overalls in her drawer in the hopes that she would change her mind (she didn't).
Well, last week she came downstairs wearing the overalls and a red turtle neck!
She looked absolutely adorable (I knew she would) and I was thrilled.

I commented on how cute she looked, and how glad I was that she was wearing the outfit.
She replied, "Yes I want to wear these overalls and this shirt everyday. Its my favorite".
I was dumbfounded as she continued, "I love it because it makes me look like Zuckerman the pig farmer from Charlotte's Web."

(Besides a great deal of laughter) here is what I took from this incident:

1. Its okay to dress like a pig farmer but not to look like a boy.
2. My wisdom and advice to my children are clearly in the "suggestion" category.
3. If I wish to extend my sphere of influence over my daughters, I must have myself made into an animated video while I sing songs, dance around and talk to various animated animals.

Listen to Mother...

When I was a child sometimes my mom would say, "just because you think it doesn't mean you need to say it out loud."

I think last night's posts was one of those occasions.
Sure, I could delete the post but I still think its funny so I won't.

Besides, I live in real-time and there is no delete button in real-time.
For people with a mouth like me, there really should be!

Kiddictions...

We're all addicted to something. Every person has their weak spot that gets "hooked" by their drug of choice. Its that thing that makes you go "oooooo" or "ahhhhh" and gives you that mushy-gushy feeling all over your sappy heart.

Whether or not they are willing to admit it, most mothers get this feeling from their kids. Its that overwhelming mishugana emotion when you look at that pudgy punim. You just gotta squeeze their cheeks and kiss them all over. I call it kiddiction.

I usually pull myself out of the cute-attack just shortly before I kiss their faces RIGHT OFF. There is that danger --formerly cute faceless children whose mothers kissed their faces off. Its a problem, particularly with babies who have chubby cheeks.

It must be an addiction. What else could cause a person to go to work day after day to provide food, shelter and clothing to unresponsive (but adorable) little people?
What would make you want to give all your time, money and energy to tiny taker expecting nothing in return and be HAPPY about it?

Okay, maybe there is heroine.

Heroine will take all your resources (time, money, ambition, energy) and give you nothing in return. But it won't make you happy. Well, okay you'd be happy for a few minutes but then you'd be miserable. But then again, when those cute kids become teenagers they could make you miserable too. The stress of teenagers alone could make you go bald. Heroine doesn't make you bald. In fact, heroine is a good way to loose weight, kids don't do that.
Okay, hold on...I think I've gone a bit off track here. Perhaps, I should try to get back to my original point. What was my point again? Oh yes, the difference between heroine and children.

Ummm...heroine will never become a doctor and buy you a timeshare in Florida.

Think about it.

Quarantine...

The thing about having a kid with chicken pox is, you are pretty much housebound.
Normally, I would take them to school, or meetings with me, take them to
play with their friends, take them to church or go for breakfast with Grandma(s).
The pace of our lives has gone from corvette to chevette.

Is this a complaint?

No, actually its not. This has been a nice change. I think the girls and I needed a rest and
this is the perfect opportunity (excuse) to do just that. We've spent hours just relaxing and cuddling, and watching t.v. We eat whenever and take care of whatever needs arise without
concerning ourselves with anything going on in the outside world. Its kind of nice.
I could get used to this.

I know the adrenaline junkie in me would be bored within a week, but there is a calmer, quiet piece of me who is enjoying the nothingness.
Perhaps if I were quiet more often I could listen to the peaceful part of me before 'Efficiency-Erica' starts barking orders at herself again! "Produce!!!!! Produce!!! Get this stuff done! Yesterday!"

I need a new adage to describe this situation:

Out of the fire into the nice cooshy-soft pillow!

or

Between a cotton ball and a dab of whipped cream.

One More Time Around...

Isabella broke out with the first few chicken pox yesterday morning.
Here we go again!

God have mercy!

Its Official!!!

HOME SWEET HOME

Clean Sweep...

Last night I watched a show called "Clean Sweep".
These people come and help pack rats get rid of stuff and make
their houses more organized.

That's what I need right now.
As we begin packing, we need to get rid of stuff that we just don't use.
Where are the people from those cable shows when you need them?

Good Advice!

On the way to my volleyball game last night, Isabella piped up (loudly):

"Hey mom! Being a little kid is LOTS of fun! You should try it!
You might like it!"

Rebecca added, "Yeah and you don't even have to do dishes or anything!"

No wonder they are always smiling!

African Church Tale...

Anyone who grew up in the church environment has heard at one time or other the story of the boy or girl (different versions) who prayed "Oh God don't send me to Africa" and ended up being a missionary in Africa their entire lives.
**Ha! Ha!**

The moral of this story had its twists and turns depending on who was preaching.
Here are some that I remember:

• God has a sense of humor (hence the *Ha Ha*)
• God knows better than we do and isn't particularly concerned with what we want
• God will find ways to test your obedience --so be on guard--
• If you choose to accept God, you need to be aware that sacrifices will be expected from you
• When you give your life over to God, you forfeit the right to choose its path

These lessons that were taught about the character of God make Him sound like an insecure bully with control issues. This description of God does NOT line up with the experience of God in my life.

I have experienced mercy, and redemption time and time again. I have seen God take my life and do things with it that I couldn't even have dreamed up. I have been forgiven more times than I care to think about, and have never been hit with a lightening bolt.

In my experience God does care about the desires of my heart. He doesn't wait around until my defenses are down and hit me with some ridiculous expectation that would make me miserable. He knows what I like (better than I do) and cares about that too. He doesn't disregard my wishes and desires.

In fact, I wonder how that story ended: if the person who went to Africa found joy, peace, kindness, acceptance and a destiny in Africa, then I would say God sent them. If not, well.....

What's my point? I'm tired of coming across people (myself included) who have that perception of God because it is not accurate, and does not contain truth. So out with the old and in with the new!