I had such a great day today.
First we had a slack morning at home, hanging out with my girls in our p.j.s
Then lunch with mom.
Than naptime....mmmmmm.....I LOVE naptime.
Then a playdate at the children's museum.

I'm telling you , it don't get much better than that.

Such a great surprise today!
Someone gave me a whole big box full of clothes for Rebecca (that were too big)
right after Isabella was born. (About a year ago)
I had completely forgotten about it, and I went into the basement to dig out
my raquetball raquette today and found it.
Cool! Rebecca just got a bunch of new clothes that will fit her in the next few months!
Awesome! I should go shopping in my basement more often, it'd save us lots of $!

I cried during Rebecca swimming class! (just for a second, and I was all wet so no one noticed) She had these floats under her arms and the teacher was teaching them to how to jump into the pool by themselves. The floats kept them from drowning (good thing). Anyway, I looked up at her beaming face (so happy at another step toward independence) and in a flash I saw the same face that looked back at me in the hospital the day she was born! I just had this rush of love for her, so beautiful, so happy, so pure and so brave. (yes, I knew she was brave the day she was born!). It was just a split second but I could see the baby, the girl and the woman to be, all in a moment. And it overwhelmed me to the point of tears! What a great experience! Thank you Jesus for making me a mom! (oh, now I'm crying again!).

Alright, there is currently a BAN on all crayons and crayon-related paraphrenilia in the Seales household. We have had a rash of toddler-vandalism that MUST stop.
I'm currently policing the area, all crayons have been removed from the premises while we deal with floor, windows, t.v., hall mirror, fridge, and coffee table incidents. Strick fines will be handed out and all artistic priveledges suspended until further notice.
(I explained this to the kids and they seem to understand the implications!)

Rebecca keeps saying, "No more crayons...not listen to mommy. Crayons awwwwll gone. Only on paper!" And Bella is just pointing to the crayon box and grunting, "mo, mo, mo" (more).

But I shall stand firm! I will prevail. (this is what I tell myself, really it stinks, they love to color and I love that they are so creative...but not all over the house!!!)

Bella is sooooo cute.
She keeps looking at me with her HUGE blue eyes as she considers writing on various
objects around the house, that are NOT paper.
She keeps giving me this look, that says ....is this still wrong?
And when I tell her, ONLY WRITE ON PAPER in my stern mommy voice, she looks soooooooo disappointed. But she obeys anyway. She is so cute.

Is there no pleasing me?

I'm just meditating on some of the places in my life that I can't find "balance".

I have a tendency to take on WAY too much and I'm so busy running around
trying to get it all done, that I feel like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion.
Then I need "crash time" to recover when I've overdone it, so I plan nothing for
myself in an attempt to rest, but then I find myself bored. There must be a place
of balance between boredom and burn-out. I just haven't found it yet.

I'm not happy with too much or too little to do, is there no pleasing me?
I hope not. I do think though that (especially in North America) people are
consumed to achieving happiness. I have no real answer to this problem as I find
myself caught up in it too. I guess its got to be peace from God that gives us joy when there is too much or too little to do. And when I'm on either side of that spectrum I need to learn how to REST. (not so much sleep, but rest...I'm learning that there's a difference between the two!!! Its taken my 27 years to catch on to this, I'm a little slow on the uptake I guess)

I can sleep all day whenever I get stressed or anxious. Its my mode of escape. So I'm learning to rest in whatever I'm doing when I'm awake so I need sleep to escape the stress of life. Many people already do this naturally but its something I'm having to learn and put into practise....a life lesson, if you will.

So there are my deep, meditations on a Sunday afternoon. But even this self-analysis is a form of self-absorption, ah....the irony.

I am raising a civic leader of the future!
Today, Rebecca packed up her little Minnie Mouse lunch box with various
nick-nacks and said, "Okay I have to go to work now... for the govermint".
So, D.J. said, "do you work for the government?"
And she answered, "yup, just like daddy."

Melt your heart or what? D.J. was just beside himself with joy. She's daddy's girl alright.

Its Friday morning and I'm back and ready to take on the parenting ordeal again!
Its amazing how even a small break from the endless tasks can change your
perspective and refresh your outlook on life.

I had a small get-a-away on Wednesday and Thursday. My amazing, generous, kind and wonderful sister took care of my children so I could go join D.J. for a romantic mini-vacation. Yes, I was whisked away to beautiful and exotic Brandon Manitoba. Ahhh...the beaches, the sunsets.....oh alright...it was just Brandon but to me, it was paradise, time alone all day to sleep, go swimming, sleep, spend time with D.J., sleep, go out for supper, sleep, watch movies, sleep....did I miss anything....oh yeah, sleep.

It was so great. We had a conversation at dinner, which was amazingly short. (dinner, not the conversation) Its amazing how quickly a meal goes when you only have one person to feed (myself, not D.J.).

My perspective has changed so much in just 1 1/2 days. I am a good...no, a great parent. I was putting far too much pressure on myself to be the PERFECT parent and not really enjoying my kids. I have great....no, FABULOUS kids, they are so sweet and I missed them like crazy. Its just good to get out of the grind sometimes to regain that perspective again. Life is good, and my kids are awesome.
(Please could someone e-mail me this blog after I've been back for awhile and the winter-cooped-up blues hit? Give me til about mid-Jan, then I should need it.)

I've almost finished re-doing my kitchen.
Its my version of "while you were out" for D.J.
While he's in Brandon, I've painted, and wallpapered the kitchen.
I must say, its looks AMAZING!!!! I'm really happy with it.
I just have one more coat of paint and then I'm 3/4 done.
I'm saving the backsplash b/c that'll take the most time.
Decorating is so much fun. Soon, my kitchen will be nice enough that
I can have people over without being embarassed, won't that be nice?

I have almost made it through my first day by myself and it wasn't bad.
But I won't celebrate too early, I still an hour and a half until bedtime and
a lot can happen in that time.

Rebecca was so cute today, she got a back pack and she wanted it on when
she got dressed this morning. She is still wearing it! She won't take it off, its
so cute. Adding to the cuteness is the fact that is wearing TWO hats as well.
Her fashion sense is impeccable. She likes the backpack because she thinks it
make her look like Dora, from Dora the Explorer (whose backpack can talk).

And Isabella learned how to come down the stairs on her bum today.
Rebecca taught her so that's pretty exciting. Providing she doesn't tumble down the stairs....yikes! This growing up thing is hard on the nerves.

So, I cleaned my oven and stove really well today (for obvious reasons).
Feels good to do something and do it really well.

A sense of accomplishment isn't something that goes hand-in-hand with
parenting I'm finding. The task takes 18-30 years so its hard to see how
you're doing "in the process". Rebecca has a cold right now and is particularly
fussy and whiny so I'm not going to judge my "process" based on today.
And Isabella is starting to copy her two year old sister, and saying "no" to
everything I ask her to do. So I'm not going to look at the outcome of my
parenting skills in the next few weeks. Rebecca is two and Isabella is on her way
to two (too fast) so I think I should not be judged on their behaviour for at least
a year or so. Basically, I'm living in denial and I don't want to look at how I'm doing as a parent right now. The way they behaved yesterday and today, I'm sort of hoping at the end of 18 years I'm not called to testify in court. Ahhhhhhhhh!
Two toddlers is CRAZY!!!!!!!! I just keep repeating my mantra, "this too shall pass".
And when it passes, I'll be sad that they're not my babies anymore. There is just no pleasing me!!! I love them, I wanna kiss them, I wanna hug them and I want them to be QUIET for just TWO seconds together!!!!

And that's the kind of day its been!

Whenever my kids are quiet for a few minutes, you know you have to check out
what's going on. So when my kids were quiet in the kitchen today, I said (loudly) "Rebecca, what are you doing?" And heard "washing my hands."

Okay, no big deal, washing her hands. So I left it for a few more minutes.
Now, what she DIDN'T say, was that she was washing her hands in
margarine. Yes, a big horkin wad of margarine, rubbing it all around her hands like
one would with lotion.

Gross! (and greasy!) So, Iget to cleaning her off and she says, "and I clean the stove" Whaaaaa? I turn to see Isabella finishing the cleaning job, smearing the margarine around the oven door with a big grin on her face. Oh good gracious, and yuck! They "cleaned" the oven door with huge handfuls from the margarine container and got themselves in a big greasy mess in the meantime. Yuck. Now I have my kids, the oven and kitchen floor to clean.....and I have no margarine.
But on the brightside, my kids are helpful....sort of.

Growing and Learning Day is something my area offers for pre-schoolers every six months. We went to our first one last night for Rebecca. Basically, its 10 stations set up at an elementary school that tests your child (while playing games) in many different areas to see if there are any trouble spots that need to be dealt with before kindergarten. eg. hearing, vision, speech, motor skills, singing, co-operating, dental check-up, etc. They have professionals from the various areas play with your kids and tell you if they need follow up help. Its free, and its fun. I think its great, my mom-in-law is against it, she's afraid it will pigeon-hole kids.
I'll have to finish this thought later today. Bella is climbing my leg.

Wal-Mart is freaking me out!
They had a sign posted with how many shopping days left til Christmas,
right when you walk in the door! And the number keeps getting smaller!!!!
Yikes!
I have 2 Christmas gifts bought and many more to go but no money to do it with.
What am I going to do? Outside of winning the lottery, my options are pretty
limited. Now is one of those times I wish I could knit sweaters or something.
Maybe I could write poems or something.....maybe....my older brother might be
happy with a dirty lymric....hee hee...(he knows its true, his sense of humor is twisted).
Now, what rhymes with boobs?

In the place between dreaming and semi-awake, when you brain is starting to become active but your body is not moving....(you know the place)....that's where a lot of my anxieties come out. That's the place where my brain says, "hey, the conscious mind is still drowsy, hey sub-conscious dude! Get over here! Let's have a free-for-all with all her worries and doubts! Yee-hah!"

So (too early) this morning, I had this semi-waking dream that there was this mother in the supermarket with two screaming kids and people were staring and rolling their eyes and shooting icy, do-something-with-those-brats glares. And the woman, on closer inspection, was me!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! *wake up in a cold sweat*

Luckily, my kids love shopping so there are pretty good in public places, but its funny that that should be such a huge fear for me. I know my kids are good kids, but the idea that STRANGERS should think otherwise, caused me great anxiety. It makes no sense.....unless......I analyse a little further.....(stay with me here)

1) I was one of those gawkers who thought, "my kids will never do that" before I had kids, so anytime you judge others, it comes back to smack you in the butt.
and
2) As a stay-at-home mom, everything I do is pretty much just me and the kids, so there is no real evaluation taking place, until you're out in public whether there is some feedback. So it does make sense to put a value on that feedback (even if it is strangers) if its the only the kind you have.

So, upon deeper analysis, this anxiety about public reaction to my parenting skills does make some sense. Maybe what I need is someone who comes to my house every once in awhile and gives me feedback, preferably someone who likes me.

They could have stickers, and be like, "okay you get a "B" for poopy diaper change #3 today, because you folded that load of laundry before changing it"
"You get an A+ for giving that time out when your child over reacted to getting the wrong cereal"
And I could get gold stars, and a progress report and some constructive criticism.
Wouldn't that be great? (All the people with mother-in-laws roll their eyes:)

I just LOVE having D.J. home with me! I've gotten so much done in the last couple of days! My kitchen is KLEAN. Clean with a K because it is soooooo clean, not just tidy, not neat, not passable so company can come over but KAAAAA-LEAN. Like eating off the floor sounds like a good idea kinda clean---you get my drift???----Clean.

Not that I'm a total perfectionist, neat freak or anything. Hee Hee Hee....
So what??? For once, I'm happy with my kitchen....so sue me. And is there really anything wrong with being a neat-freak perfectionist?????
(only if you have two toddlers)

While I'm still on the "I've accomplished something my kids haven't ripped apart yet" high, maybe I'll go tackle one of the bathrooms. :)

What a GREAT day today was, D.J. took a vacation day so he'd be off for four days
in a row (with Rememberance Day tomorrow).
Let me tell you, this parenting with two people deal, its a breeze!!!

Two kids, two parents....the odds are totally fair and equal.
Well, the two year old counts as 1 1/2 people because of the energy factor and
just sheer will-power but the ration is still better.

When people say "terrible twos" they are not kidding. Its not that my two year old
is bad, she's just full of energy ALL THE TIME and relentless. If I had her determination, I could do anything. I could keep my house clean, bake a week's worth of cinnamon buns (my new thing) and run a marathon....in one day!

Just watching her makes a person tired, and the bad news is, in another 6 months I'll have ANOTHER two year old!!!!! AUUUGGHHHH! And from what I can see so far, she's no push-over. So good luck to me! And to all the single moms in the world, you have my admiration and my prayers.

Okay, I made cinnamon rolls again! I'm beginning an addiction.
I didn't have supper so I ate three of them! But they're sooo good.

I had a nice lazy day, just hanging out with my kids and my hubby.
Had a long nap, a short nap and 3 hour shopping spree.

A cute little tale I have to tell today. We went to my mom's in the evening so D.J.
could help her with her most recent project, re-wiring by the wall she just ripped down. Rebecca say the mess and the missing wall and didn't say anything about it the whole hour we were there. She didn't even seem to notice. Then just as we were walking out the door, she turns to my mom and says, "sorry about your house."
Isn't that hilarious??? A two year sympathizing because she thinks her house just fell down or something! I got a chuckle out of that one.

I think I must have had too much of whatever it is that Martha Stewart was drinking.
I've been so domestic the last couple of days.
Last night I made cinnamon buns, and then ate WAY too many.

And today I made stew with fresh biscuits and a cake!
Yum! But again, I ate way too much. I hope this isn't turning into a pattern.

But it was sooooo delicious! That's no excuse, I'm going to curb the appetite before I eat myself into one of those people you see on Maury, who have to have a hole cut in the side of their house so they can be airlifted out. That would be bad, very bad.

I'm just resting and enjoying the most peaceful time of day, after the kids have gone to bed. Ahhhhhhh.....so relaxing. Perhaps I'll read a book and go to bed. I'm sick of t.v., there's nothing good on anyway.

I even watched survivor last night (uh-oh...couch potato land here I come) and I was so upset that Jon didn't get voted out and Andrew did. Its so unfair. Jon is an evil conniving puke and Andrew was decent guy and a good leader to boot. But I guess, there-in lies the threat.....its strategy people, strategy! But poor Andrew, he had a will of iron and if he'd have warned Lil before tribal counsel the first time, it might have been a different story.....yikes....I need to stop watching t.v.!!!!

Man, this daylight savings time thing is still messing up my kids!
They still want to get up at around 6 am!!!!!!
Too early!!! Slowly we're making our way later and later, but yikes!

This morning wasn't too bad, D.J. just told Rebecca it was too early and she went back to sleep for about 40 more minutes. And I gave Bella a bottle and she did the same.
Hopefully, it won't be too much longer before they're getting up at a decent hour.

Today should be fun, we have Bella's swimming in the am and the children's museum in the afternoon, that's a busy day!

I'm having such a proud-mommy kind of day.
I'm so proud of my kids sometimes, they are so smart and so cute.

Today at her swimming lessons, the instructor attempted to play follow the leader.
(with 9 two year olds, this is a daunting challenge).

All the other kids were wondering about, not staying where they were supposed to be, and definitely NOT following the leader. But my Rebecca, wow! She was awesome!
She was totally attentive and watching the instructor's every move and copying it.

I wasn't trying to herd my kid along, I just stayed in the pool and watched my little eager beaver, she was amazing! I'm so proud.

I'm also proud of Isabella today, she learned how to go up the stairs of our little slide by herself and go down by herself! Wow, she's getting so big!
And she can also eat her own weight in french fries! JJ....but really, she can eat a lot!

I was well-behaved today.
No cookies and candy, and I worked out in the morning!
First time since the beginning of September, I guess I was due.

I just got back from my volleyball game and we won 3 straight!
(Its best of 5)

Sadly, the Bombers did not win yesterday. Which means, no grey cup this year.
I'm sure I'll get over it quick but my sister, she'll need a time of mourning.
So let's all just be gentle with her while she adjusts to the loss.
Poor girl, time heals all wounds Churl.

Woooooo-hoooooo!
I'm on a BAD streak! I've been so naughty in the last 24 hours!

Last night I went to a movie that I've wanted to see, Under the Tuscan Sun.
(I just love romantic comedy)
I drove all the way to Grant Park and when I got there it was sold out!
Man! So, I had a naughty idea.
I bought a ticket for Kill Bill (blah) and then went into the "wrong" theatre to see if there were any seats left, and there was!!!! So I watched the movie I wanted, so bad!
I have now deceived Grant Park Cinema but I think I can live with that.

But it doesn't end there! No, I discovered that Grant Park has a liquor mart! So I bought a bottle of wine for the rest of the evening!

And tonight, for supper I ate two timbits, three cookies, a glass of milk, and a caramel apple! Bad, bad, bad I tell ya!

Somebody stop this crazy train! hee hee hee

I was thinking about how proper and conservation Canadians are, and I am very
Canadian! The way I speak and write is so expressionless at times.
The words don't express the power of what I feel.
For instance, often in my writing when I think my kids did something soooooo
adorable, I'll write....they are sooooo cute.
But that doesn't get across how really cute they are.
So aside from using bold and italics, I need a new way to express myself.

As a result, I've started reading southern expressions on the internet, I'm thinking of bringing a few of them into my vernacular.

For instance, instead of saying soooooo cute, I'll say Isabella is cuter than toe sack full of puppies! (not sure what a toe sack is though)
And Rebecca is as pretty as two pigs in a poke! (isn't a poke like a sack? I wonder if its related to a toe-sack?)

My friends Jason and Yvonne are very happy with their new van so I could say, they are happy as a clam at high tide! (now that's happy!....I think, how happy is a clam?)

I could say I had a great time chew'n the fat with my friend Rhonda last week. We get on like a house on fire! (that could be dangerous)

I wouldn't say I'm stressed out anymore, everyone can say that!
I'lll say I'm wound up tighter than an eight day clock, that really shows just how stressed I am!

And to show how busy I've been lately (which caused the tight winding stress in the first place) I'd say I'm busier than a one legged man in a butt-kickin' contest. Or busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs! That's much more expressive.

Well, I should go now, I'm busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor! My new writing style is really helping me express myself, although most of the sayings I don't understand and have me a little confused, I'm still happier than a pig in slop!