In the place between dreaming and semi-awake, when you brain is starting to become active but your body is not moving....(you know the place)....that's where a lot of my anxieties come out. That's the place where my brain says, "hey, the conscious mind is still drowsy, hey sub-conscious dude! Get over here! Let's have a free-for-all with all her worries and doubts! Yee-hah!"
So (too early) this morning, I had this semi-waking dream that there was this mother in the supermarket with two screaming kids and people were staring and rolling their eyes and shooting icy, do-something-with-those-brats glares. And the woman, on closer inspection, was me!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! *wake up in a cold sweat*
Luckily, my kids love shopping so there are pretty good in public places, but its funny that that should be such a huge fear for me. I know my kids are good kids, but the idea that STRANGERS should think otherwise, caused me great anxiety. It makes no sense.....unless......I analyse a little further.....(stay with me here)
1) I was one of those gawkers who thought, "my kids will never do that" before I had kids, so anytime you judge others, it comes back to smack you in the butt.
and
2) As a stay-at-home mom, everything I do is pretty much just me and the kids, so there is no real evaluation taking place, until you're out in public whether there is some feedback. So it does make sense to put a value on that feedback (even if it is strangers) if its the only the kind you have.
So, upon deeper analysis, this anxiety about public reaction to my parenting skills does make some sense. Maybe what I need is someone who comes to my house every once in awhile and gives me feedback, preferably someone who likes me.
They could have stickers, and be like, "okay you get a "B" for poopy diaper change #3 today, because you folded that load of laundry before changing it"
"You get an A+ for giving that time out when your child over reacted to getting the wrong cereal"
And I could get gold stars, and a progress report and some constructive criticism.
Wouldn't that be great? (All the people with mother-in-laws roll their eyes:)
So (too early) this morning, I had this semi-waking dream that there was this mother in the supermarket with two screaming kids and people were staring and rolling their eyes and shooting icy, do-something-with-those-brats glares. And the woman, on closer inspection, was me!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! *wake up in a cold sweat*
Luckily, my kids love shopping so there are pretty good in public places, but its funny that that should be such a huge fear for me. I know my kids are good kids, but the idea that STRANGERS should think otherwise, caused me great anxiety. It makes no sense.....unless......I analyse a little further.....(stay with me here)
1) I was one of those gawkers who thought, "my kids will never do that" before I had kids, so anytime you judge others, it comes back to smack you in the butt.
and
2) As a stay-at-home mom, everything I do is pretty much just me and the kids, so there is no real evaluation taking place, until you're out in public whether there is some feedback. So it does make sense to put a value on that feedback (even if it is strangers) if its the only the kind you have.
So, upon deeper analysis, this anxiety about public reaction to my parenting skills does make some sense. Maybe what I need is someone who comes to my house every once in awhile and gives me feedback, preferably someone who likes me.
They could have stickers, and be like, "okay you get a "B" for poopy diaper change #3 today, because you folded that load of laundry before changing it"
"You get an A+ for giving that time out when your child over reacted to getting the wrong cereal"
And I could get gold stars, and a progress report and some constructive criticism.
Wouldn't that be great? (All the people with mother-in-laws roll their eyes:)
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