Erica online

Tuesday, February 19

My Mother-in-Law

My mother-in-law passed away this past Sunday afternoon. She was in her home which is what she wanted. She was tired of hospitals and machines, and she passed away free of all that nonsense.

She loved to read my blog and she would bug me to update all the time. "Hurry up! I'm bored!", she would say, "write something new!" Until she got too sick to read anymore.

Even as I write this, I think about how mad she would be for writing on my blog about her.

It makes me sad to think that she won't tell me off after reading this. She would say, "what are you doing writing about me on the INTERNET??? For the WHOLE world to see? Or just the FIVE people who read your blog!"

I'll miss her alot. She always called me the "wicked witch of the west" and took such great joy in telling me I much too wicked to be a "real" Christian.

She loved to verbally spar with me, and nothing would make her smile as much as when I would give back to her as good as she gave it. If I had a particularly cleverly devious reply, she would threaten to call my church and have me kicked out! I would tell she could take it a step farther and tell GOD on me, but then she'd have to pray. At this point, she'd give me the finger, and we'd both laugh.

I'll post a picture of her here because that would really piss her off! She'd love that.

I am really going to miss her. At first she was in life because she was my husband's mother, and then she became my friend. She always told me truth, whether I wanted to hear it or not. She always listened to me and thought about what I said. I really appreciated her open mind.

She loved my husband, my daughters and me like crazy. She was generous to a fault, and my kid's birthdays and Christmases can only be described as ridiculous. She was good at spoiling us.

She loved it when we visited her. She always said watching Isabella is funnier than any show they have on t.v. And when it came to Rebecca, she would shake her head or shrug her shoulders and say something like, "Rebecca! You are who you are! God help us all!" DJ was her philosophy partner and they loved to discuss anything that used grey matter. I was a source of amusement to her, whether intended or not. She loved to laugh with me or at me, it was equally pleasing to her. The common theme is that she enjoyed us all for who we are. She knew each of our hearts, our personalities, our strengths and our weaknesses. And she enjoyed us.

Its nice to be known. Its nice to be enjoyed. Its nice to be loved.

I'm going to miss her a whole lot. There will be a void in my life, and the life of my family not easily filled.

Erica at 10:36 AM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

She was a very special lady and I know she put "seeds" into your kids that will help them grow into what God intends them to be. Wouldn't she frown at the thought of being the "Hand of God" on your kids.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Carol-Ann. said...

Hi Erica,
I only know your little family through your blog but I am sorry to think that you've had such a heavy weekend!

Great tribute to a lady who was obviously oozing with character and humour!

Death of a parent always catches us off-guard ... even when we are prepared!

3:28 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Thinking of you and D.J during this time Erica. How are the Rebecca and Isabella understanding the loss of their grandma?
Love you and miss your lovely face and compassionate heart my friend.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

The girls didn't understand for the first couple of days.
The reality of the situation is beginning to be very real to them.

Tonight they were very upset. That was the hardest thing to date.

11:29 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

I always find it most difficult for the kids. That they lose the opportunity to personally grow knowing that person.

You have written a wonderful tribute to your mother-in-law and I am sure the kids will grow knowing her through you and DJ.

Please extend my condolences to your entire family.

And please let me know if I can help out in any way

10:18 AM  
Blogger Yvonne said...

OH Erica...I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. I can't even wrap my mind around how that would feel.

Please hug the girls for me....and we'll be praying that God helps their little hearts.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think she would have liked this post...and complained bitterly about it to you and DJ. I'm kinda mad at her right now for not getting better like I told her too and for leaving you and the girls and DJ too early. I wish she was here so I could tell her that. Crusty on the outside and soft on the mother, like son?!?! She would "get" this comment and understand...I will miss her loving you all too.

2:08 AM  
Blogger Lynne said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

You wrote this post very well Erica. I felt I got to know her even more now as you wrote. She sounds really cool. I wish I could get you something to help fill that place she filled in your lives - just so it wouldn't hurt so bad. But she needs to be missed. I'm thinking a lot about your family these days and wish you God's comfort.

(((((( Hug ))))))

2:05 PM  
Blogger Catherine West said...

Erica, I'm so sorry for your loss, and for DJ losing his mom. I know that pain. Let the girls grieve in their own way, but keep talking about it. My daughter was nine when my mom died. We thought she had coped quite well, but nine months later, when my dad found a 'lady friend' (who is now my stepmom), we discovered my daughter had bottled up all her emotions about losing her granny, and they exploded in one night at a restaurant whilst we were having out first dinner out with Dad's new friend!! Oy. You can never be too sure what kids are thinking. I think the best thing you can do is don't hide your own grief. Maybe I did that. I don't know.
It's not fun, but God will get you through it. I'll pray for you guys.

1:10 PM  

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