Another Day at the Lab...

Early childhood development research tells us that children will test the boundaries their parents set for them. This is a healthy way to gain independence. When their testing is met with consistent standards, it creates a sense of security in knowing the care-giver is in control.

Well, that's all fine and dandy but don't you think this research focuses too much on the child? There are two subjects in this discipline scenario. What about the person applying the standards and boundaries? Don't they deserve a bit of research too?

I feel that further research is warranted. You can look for the results of my research in April's issue of Psychology Today, but lucky blog readers get a sneak preview here.

Testing Environment: Driving a mini-van in rush hour traffic
Stimuli : Two pre-school children hopped up on sugar, bent on crushing adult boundaries
Subject: Mother of two pre-school children
Subject's Goal: Attempting to set boundaries consist with human decency

Research Query: When the stimuli are introduced into the testing environment how will the
subject respond?
Research Goal: To record the subject's psycological and physical responses during conflict
(ie. realizing her goal is being challenged by the stimuli)

Stimuli Introduction:
1. Children repeat non-sensical syllables repeatedly and loudly
2. Subject requests the use of an "inside voice"
3. Request is ignored
4. Stimulus #2 begins poking stimulus #1 and loud laughter ensues
5. After 4 sequential pokes stimulus #1 begins to cry followed with loud wails of "Mooommmm"

Physical Symptoms:
After several minutes of exposure to stimuli, the subject displays physiological changes.
The tension in the shoulders is apparent as the neck bends forward and shoulders rise, the clenched jaw indicates tension which is supported by evidence of increased blood pressure.
Blood pressure increase is assumed due to facial color changing from a flushed red to a bright purple matching the bulging blood vessel on her forehead.

Note to self: The blue vein emerging from the forehead forms a lovely contrast with the white knuckles gripping the steering wheel. Must consider this color combination in painting kitchen.

Psychological Symptoms:
Aside from the cuckoo birds flying in circles around the subject's head, other signs of psychological instability begin to appear. These signs include banging head against the steering wheel, pulling out chunks of hair and general shrill shrieking resembling a banchee.

Conclusion:
Perhaps past moral and ethical standards on child rearing have been too quick to judge. It seems that the ritual of killing and eating one's young may not be so primitive after all. In light of this new research, this method of discipline seems quite logical, practical and may prove to be an effective stress reducer.