Up and At 'Em Early Risers...

Every mother has experienced being awakened by young children at an hour which is reserved for ambitious birds and unfortunate worms, namely, early.
Too early.

When these early mornings are preceeded by a night suited to owls and hawks, the abrupt start to the day is particularly painful. Sleepy-eyed women the world over have stumbled out of bed and muttered incoherent "uh-huh"s to their chirpy, energetic pre-schoolers. Intelligent children capitalize on their mother's brain freeze by bombarding them with inane, unreasonable requests. Kids know that if mommy is ever going to agree to cookies for breakfast, today is the day. You gotta take that disheveled, stumbling, mumbling mommy for all she's worth!

I have decided that this is a universal experience of motherhood. Shell-shocked mothers in a state of sleep deprivation deserve some sort of ammunition while under the barrage of bouncy, happy, well-rested toddlers. (Just because they went to bed early, doesn't mean we did!)

In an attempt to correct this oversight, I have decided to provide sleepy mothers with some resources which may help in this situation. Perhaps I have discovered a gap in the book publishing world. The first step is write a few self-help books for mornings like this.
For Instance...

A Guide to Semi-Conscious Parenting

(The book would be marketed with a bonus first aid kit for when the three year old tries to make toast and tea on his own)

or

Caffeine Induced Parenting:

How Much Is Too Much?

or

Good Morning, I Love You, Now Leave Me Alone

or

Quick Reference Guide to Early Morning Children Programming

(that's what its there for people!)

or

A Parent's Guide to Imaginary Play

Includes variations on Sleeping Beauty and Rip Van Winkle

I could also tap into the children's market with some colorfully illustrated books for kids such as...

Mommy Takes A Nap

or

Shhh!!! Monsters Eat the Loud Kids First

or

Broken Bone Billy Jumps on Mommy's Bed: A Cautionary Tale

From there I could move into the territory of literary classics. Perhaps I re-write some great literary novels to help sleep-deprived mothers relate better to the themes. For Example...

A Tale of Two Pillows

War and Sleep

Sunrise and Punishment

The Old Man and the Nap

Napper in the Rye

Of Blankets and Pillows

The Great Snooze Button

Breakfast at Eleven

To Kill A Dreaming State

The Sun Also Rises, Way Too Early

A Brave New Bedtime

Any other classics you would like to see re-written?

C'mon, play along....its fun!