Socially Retarded....

I know that growing up where I did has had some lasting effects that I have had to overcome.
One area that I'm still working on is the whole social small talk area.

I'm not good at it, and often I feel socially retarded. This morning as I dropped my daughter off at pre-school, I looked at this one mom, smiled and kept walking. She snapped "Good Morning" in an unfriendly tone. Like "okay retard this is the part where you say good morning".

I forget that all the time. The whole "good morning" "hi, how are you?" (which, unless people really mean it, annoys me because its false) and all that small talk stuff is weird to me.

Luckily, my whole family is socially retarded so I don't have to do small talk with them, which makes me feel so much more comfortable.

This is also reason I find church uncomfortable, I'm forced to talk to people and I'm not entirely sure how much detail/vulnerability/being real is appropriate. When someone says "how are you" do they really mean it? DO they want to know? or is it the polite "How are you" is what I have to say to you but I don't have the time or inclination to listen to the answer "How are you".

So there you have it. I am socially retarded. OR socially handi-capped? I'm not really sure what handi-capped means. I'm not familiar with the word "capped" and are there other ways that you can be capped besides handily? Its a strange word.