Problem Solving...
The old adage is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. This applies to other people's problems as well. Have you ever found yourself listening to someone else complaining about a problem, and thought "I wish that was my problem! That's so EASY to solve!"
Looking at other people's problem outside of their perspective, their history, their fears and doubts, and other complicated emotions enmeshed in the situation makes the solution seem very simple.
It is the "obvious" answers that lead people to tell an abused woman, "Just leave him."
They tell a homeless teenager, "Just go home." They tell the unemployed, "Just get a job."
I had a thought yesterday about the obvious answer that I would give to an abuse victim.
If someone is always lying to you, and telling you can't do it, doubting your ability, calling you fat or ugly, or degrading you. Any self-respecting person wouldn't be around that person anymore.
It is an obvious solution. If anyone would talk to me like that, they would have to leave. I would never allow another person to talk to me like that, so why do I think its okay for me to say such horrible things to myself?
What do you do when your abuser is you?
I have made up my mind to "just leave her"! I don't need to listen to that Erica anymore. Anytime she looks in the mirror and sees a fat cow, I'll say, "Hey! You can't talk to you like that! Stop it! Who do you think you are? Me?"
(Then I'll get confused for awhile, but I'll figure it out, I'm smart that way! :)
But I'm not taking doubting comments that are meant to breed fear anymore. I'm not listening to put downs about what I look like, or my hair, or fat or body image stuff anymore. No one can talk to me like that! Not even me!
Either I'll develop multiple personalities or I'll start to see the lovliness that other people tell me is there. But I'll never see it, if I don't start looking...so I here I go, with eyes wide open!
Why do I have Whitney Houston's song "Greatest Love of All" stuck in my head all of the sudden?
The old adage is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. This applies to other people's problems as well. Have you ever found yourself listening to someone else complaining about a problem, and thought "I wish that was my problem! That's so EASY to solve!"
Looking at other people's problem outside of their perspective, their history, their fears and doubts, and other complicated emotions enmeshed in the situation makes the solution seem very simple.
It is the "obvious" answers that lead people to tell an abused woman, "Just leave him."
They tell a homeless teenager, "Just go home." They tell the unemployed, "Just get a job."
I had a thought yesterday about the obvious answer that I would give to an abuse victim.
If someone is always lying to you, and telling you can't do it, doubting your ability, calling you fat or ugly, or degrading you. Any self-respecting person wouldn't be around that person anymore.
It is an obvious solution. If anyone would talk to me like that, they would have to leave. I would never allow another person to talk to me like that, so why do I think its okay for me to say such horrible things to myself?
What do you do when your abuser is you?
I have made up my mind to "just leave her"! I don't need to listen to that Erica anymore. Anytime she looks in the mirror and sees a fat cow, I'll say, "Hey! You can't talk to you like that! Stop it! Who do you think you are? Me?"
(Then I'll get confused for awhile, but I'll figure it out, I'm smart that way! :)
But I'm not taking doubting comments that are meant to breed fear anymore. I'm not listening to put downs about what I look like, or my hair, or fat or body image stuff anymore. No one can talk to me like that! Not even me!
Either I'll develop multiple personalities or I'll start to see the lovliness that other people tell me is there. But I'll never see it, if I don't start looking...so I here I go, with eyes wide open!
Why do I have Whitney Houston's song "Greatest Love of All" stuck in my head all of the sudden?
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