Just Hanging-Out...
Although it sometimes drives me mad, my kids love, love, love to be around me all the time. As an introvert (person who gets their energy re-charged from being alone) this often causes me to have a desperate urge to escape their intense attentions. However, it is also flattering that they find me so intriguing, they must ask questions about everything I do.
Yesterday when I praying (complaining) about this, I was stopped mid-complaint with this thought...what if they didn't have any interest in me? Wow. That would be so sad if my kids never wanted to hang out with me. Or worse....what could be worse???
What if I had kids that hung out with me, and pretended to like me under false pretenses? What if I had kids that spent time with me to learn the best way to manipulate me? What if I discovered my kids were only asking questions about me to learn how I operate? What if they were taking psychology classes on the side to learn better to get my stuff?
A horrible thought: What if that is what I do to God?
I wonder if that is how God feels about me when I read my Bible to learn the rules, and how best to get the most of life by following the correct principles. What if I spent my prayer time trying to get the most out of God, instead of just hanging out?
Why don't I let go of my need for control, and just ask God to come hang-out just for no reason at all? Just hanging out with no agenda, just because I love Him?
I'm not saying reading the Bible is wrong.
Its the motivation behind the action that I am questioning.
If I only read my Bible to figure out life, just gain more wisdom, or get direction for my life that would be wrong. If my goal in Bible reading was to understand more Godly principles to success...well, that's not wrong...in fact, I think a loving father would want me to have those things anyway. I'm just saying, if I never read it to understand my Dad's perspective, and learn about Him just because I love Him and find Him interesting...how much relationship am I missing out on?
Again, it comes down to what I am looking for....in the words of David Ruis..."I seek your face and not your hand." Right now I am in a place of looking for hanging out with God to chat, and not to hear a "word" or accomplish/gain anything. Any Bible reading, prayer-time or anything with an agenda attached to it, is a turn-off right now.
What parent doesn't want to hear, "let's just talk mom/dad because I think you're cool". That is the kind of Christian I want to be right now. A "God you're cool, can we talk?" kind of person.
That's me in corner. That's me in the spotlight. Losing my religion.
Although it sometimes drives me mad, my kids love, love, love to be around me all the time. As an introvert (person who gets their energy re-charged from being alone) this often causes me to have a desperate urge to escape their intense attentions. However, it is also flattering that they find me so intriguing, they must ask questions about everything I do.
Yesterday when I praying (complaining) about this, I was stopped mid-complaint with this thought...what if they didn't have any interest in me? Wow. That would be so sad if my kids never wanted to hang out with me. Or worse....what could be worse???
What if I had kids that hung out with me, and pretended to like me under false pretenses? What if I had kids that spent time with me to learn the best way to manipulate me? What if I discovered my kids were only asking questions about me to learn how I operate? What if they were taking psychology classes on the side to learn better to get my stuff?
A horrible thought: What if that is what I do to God?
I wonder if that is how God feels about me when I read my Bible to learn the rules, and how best to get the most of life by following the correct principles. What if I spent my prayer time trying to get the most out of God, instead of just hanging out?
Why don't I let go of my need for control, and just ask God to come hang-out just for no reason at all? Just hanging out with no agenda, just because I love Him?
I'm not saying reading the Bible is wrong.
Its the motivation behind the action that I am questioning.
If I only read my Bible to figure out life, just gain more wisdom, or get direction for my life that would be wrong. If my goal in Bible reading was to understand more Godly principles to success...well, that's not wrong...in fact, I think a loving father would want me to have those things anyway. I'm just saying, if I never read it to understand my Dad's perspective, and learn about Him just because I love Him and find Him interesting...how much relationship am I missing out on?
Again, it comes down to what I am looking for....in the words of David Ruis..."I seek your face and not your hand." Right now I am in a place of looking for hanging out with God to chat, and not to hear a "word" or accomplish/gain anything. Any Bible reading, prayer-time or anything with an agenda attached to it, is a turn-off right now.
What parent doesn't want to hear, "let's just talk mom/dad because I think you're cool". That is the kind of Christian I want to be right now. A "God you're cool, can we talk?" kind of person.
That's me in corner. That's me in the spotlight. Losing my religion.
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