Mother's Day and Counting...
This was my 6th Mother's Day as a mother. It was the first Mother's Day where I felt like I deserved to be honored, and I received special treatment with gratitude and joy.
Mother's Day 2001 too surreal. Rebecca was a month and a half old and I hadn't the slightest clue what I was doing. I was sleep deprived, I threw my back out and I wanted someone to take "that baby" for a few hours so I could sleep. I didn't feel like a mother, never mind a good mother.
On Mother's Day 2002, I had a 13 month old and a belly full of baby. At 7 1/2 months pregnant I felt like was getting into the swing of things, I hoped I was doing okay with the first and praying labor wouldn't be too awful with the second one. If honor was due me, it was simply the fertility prize because the results of my mothering weren't yet visible. Too early to tell you know!
Mother's Day 2003 found me with a 25 month old and a 10 1/2 month old. One was always running, and one was always eating. I was too tired to remember that it was May, and probably needed to be reminded it was Mother's Day. I don't remember it but I'm sure I was tired and stressed and not feeling like a successful "June Cleaver" figure at all.
By Mother's Day 2004 I had successfully potty trained a three year old, and attempting to keep an almost 2 year old from destroying all of her sister's things. I felt like I was getting the knack for communicating with these tiny people, but now prayed without ceasing that they would learn to communicate with each other without screaming and crying. I was still in "take them away" for a few hours mode, and felt unworthy of honor as a mother because of the recurring desire to run away from home.
Mother's Day 2005 found me trying to balance work and children. I felt guilty on all fronts, not enough time for work and not enough time for the girls. Honor was the farthest thing from my mind as I felt like a failure as a mother, and an employee. With an added income we could afford to eat out on Mother's Day but I ate my burger with a side of guilt.
Today I sit at my desk on Mother's Day 2006 with a sense of joy in motherhood. I've learned how better to balance things (although my mother and mother-in-law would both say I work too hard) and accept that I can't do it all. I am enjoying my children and see some of the early fruits of my labour. My children are happy, and full of life. My work is growing and producing.
When my husband took me out to a buffet breakfast I felt like it was earned.
The honor and the bacon!
I can see where I do a good job parenting and I can accept that I am not perfect at this and I never will be. I will always need to pray for patience, grace and endurance but that doesn't mean that I've failed. It simply means that I love my kids and I'll always want to do better and be better for them.
There are now times of peace in my baby-less life when it is quiet. I can rest and enjoy my kids, and let them enjoy me because they think I'm the best mommy in the whole wide world!
I'll just take their word for it!
This was my 6th Mother's Day as a mother. It was the first Mother's Day where I felt like I deserved to be honored, and I received special treatment with gratitude and joy.
Mother's Day 2001 too surreal. Rebecca was a month and a half old and I hadn't the slightest clue what I was doing. I was sleep deprived, I threw my back out and I wanted someone to take "that baby" for a few hours so I could sleep. I didn't feel like a mother, never mind a good mother.
On Mother's Day 2002, I had a 13 month old and a belly full of baby. At 7 1/2 months pregnant I felt like was getting into the swing of things, I hoped I was doing okay with the first and praying labor wouldn't be too awful with the second one. If honor was due me, it was simply the fertility prize because the results of my mothering weren't yet visible. Too early to tell you know!
Mother's Day 2003 found me with a 25 month old and a 10 1/2 month old. One was always running, and one was always eating. I was too tired to remember that it was May, and probably needed to be reminded it was Mother's Day. I don't remember it but I'm sure I was tired and stressed and not feeling like a successful "June Cleaver" figure at all.
By Mother's Day 2004 I had successfully potty trained a three year old, and attempting to keep an almost 2 year old from destroying all of her sister's things. I felt like I was getting the knack for communicating with these tiny people, but now prayed without ceasing that they would learn to communicate with each other without screaming and crying. I was still in "take them away" for a few hours mode, and felt unworthy of honor as a mother because of the recurring desire to run away from home.
Mother's Day 2005 found me trying to balance work and children. I felt guilty on all fronts, not enough time for work and not enough time for the girls. Honor was the farthest thing from my mind as I felt like a failure as a mother, and an employee. With an added income we could afford to eat out on Mother's Day but I ate my burger with a side of guilt.
Today I sit at my desk on Mother's Day 2006 with a sense of joy in motherhood. I've learned how better to balance things (although my mother and mother-in-law would both say I work too hard) and accept that I can't do it all. I am enjoying my children and see some of the early fruits of my labour. My children are happy, and full of life. My work is growing and producing.
When my husband took me out to a buffet breakfast I felt like it was earned.
The honor and the bacon!
I can see where I do a good job parenting and I can accept that I am not perfect at this and I never will be. I will always need to pray for patience, grace and endurance but that doesn't mean that I've failed. It simply means that I love my kids and I'll always want to do better and be better for them.
There are now times of peace in my baby-less life when it is quiet. I can rest and enjoy my kids, and let them enjoy me because they think I'm the best mommy in the whole wide world!
I'll just take their word for it!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
to all the other mom's out there who are learning as they go along.
to all the other mom's out there who are learning as they go along.
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