Erica online

Tuesday, May 23

Thoughts on Community...

I've been thinking about this notion of community, and what it is and what it is not.
I spent a few years hearing about community in church, the idea that was presented felt
like a mirage that never materialized for me. This left me feeling frustrated and angry, because I was focused on an version of community that I had not experienced and could not seem to connect with or create in spite of my efforts.

After being angry and frustrated, I'm ready to toss that idea of community and re-define what community could be for me. Or rather, what it already is...

As I was on this big search for "community", I realized that community was something I had had all along, in some form or another.

Here is my new definition. (I realize this definiation may change as my life changes but this what I understand right now)

Community is like me. The ability of a community to give or take is transient, it will change according to the will (and ability) to help or receive help.
Sometimes, there are alot of resources that can go out, there is lots of time, energy and money and sometimes, the bank account is empty, there is not enough stuff to meet the needs.

This year, I've discovered that time and energy have kept me from building up friendships as I've worked more and more. I don't have the time I'd like to spend talking to my friends, but when I do have it, I do my best.

Sometimes, I am exhausted and I need more from other people and can't provide much in return. This is how community is as well, its give and take, and there are times and seasons. Ultimately, if community (like me) does not find its resources in the right places...everyone in the community will end up empty, unable to give or receive what they need.

Instead of looking for that place where people are able to help and receive my help, this "planet community" where everyone is healthy and happy, I will look to what already exists in my life.

I have a network of family and friends that are real, and loving. Whether or not they love me is not the deciding factor in whether or not they help me or let me help them. I have a wonderful group of people who love me all the time. Sometimes they are able to help me, and sometimes they can not but they still love me no matter what. These same people can call me when they need help, sometimes I will come through, and sometimes I won't but I will still love them even if I can't meet their needs.

Its in this place where love is real, and the intension of the heart really matters that I've found "safe places". We may not all live together in paradise, none of these people (including me) are perfect but we all care about each other and do what we can to help and encourage each other.
It is a safe place, not a perfect place but a safe place to be known and know the heart of people.

I'm not looking for eden any more, I've already got bits and pieces of it that I've found in loving, imperfect people. In this fragile world of friendships, I'll just pray that the grace to forgive will abound as I know I'll need to be forgiven and to forgive, and let people in again.

This community to me, what is it to you?
Erica at 1:49 PM

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