Wonderful Workshop
On Friday I attended a conference for work. The keynote speaker was a best selling author (Barbara Coloroso) who speaks to teachers and parents all over the world.
I loved what she had to say about the difference between punishment and discipline.
Here is a short summary of that part of the workshop:
Punishment is...
What are your thoughts on these definitions of punishment and discipline?
I loved what she had to say about the difference between punishment and discipline.
Here is a short summary of that part of the workshop:
Punishment is...
- Adult Oriented
- Requires Judgment
- Imposes Power from Without
- Arouses Anger and Resentment
- Invites More Conflict
- Shows Children What they have Done Wrong
- Gives Them Ownership of the Problem
- Gives Them Ways to Solve the Problems they have Created
- Leaves Their Dignity in Tact
What are your thoughts on these definitions of punishment and discipline?
4 Comments:
I find the terms very imprecise. For example, the points under punishment sound like they refer to what psychology would call negative reinforcement. The problem is that there is no mention of the more effective method of positive reinforcement, which is also externally provided.
Discipline is really delayed gratification. I do (or don't do) something now so that I can benefit later. It can be done externally (make my son practice piano) or internally (force myself to go to the gym). It can be done proactively (establishing rules) or reactively (spanking).
I agree that discipline should involve more than just "punishment", but it can't ignore the external forms of reinforcement, nor should it ignore the proactive elements.
put a picture of Becca's teeth on here...
C
I was told that disapline means "to teach". I agree that disapline is better than punishment, but some disapline can look like punishment if I don't know the motivation. Eg. A two year old that continues to run off the sidewalk and could be killed by a car. If talking does NOT have an effect, I would "teach" them the danger they are in by something that could look like punishment.
How does that definition of discipline work with a child who has essentially no empathy?
For instance, I have a kid who refuses to admit that anything he does is wrong (makes it hard for him to receive forgiveness or recognize mercy). Thus, he refuses to own any problem. Which, in turn gives him no interest in solving said problems - 'cause they're not his. Mind you, that does leave his self-image intact.
But why are people so afraid of the word judgement? In a world where we are continually given the message that we shouldn't be ashamed of or apologize for anything we do don't we owe it to our kids to teach them discernment? You know, the ability to judge between what is right and what is wrong? And shouldn't they know that there are powers out there that do have a say in their lives? Some of which may even have the power to impose standards of conduct (right and wrong) with their accompanying rewards and consequences? Shouldn't we dispel the myth of autonomy?
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