Sushi Night...
Last night many friends gathered to celebrate a friend's birthday. It was a lovely evening, even if I did not eat sushi. The teriaki chicken was delicious. During the fine meal, the women (and myself) chattered away because that's what women do best. During the conversation I had a bit of a revelation.
My friends were talking about being overwhelmed by life. The stress of trying to balance home, work, kids, business partners seemed to be taking its toll. They were exhausted. Done. Kaput.
Where do you go from Kaput?
Here is the epiphany part: its NOT just me!! It seems everybody felt this way. We are all normal, well-adjusted women having a normal reaction to abnormal expectations.
While I listened, I wanted to swoop in and save my friends. Perhaps I could come up with some brilliant advice that would change their lives and make it all better. I racked my brains and came up with nothing. Nothing helpful. No solutions. No easy answers.
How can swoop in and save my friends from the same lie that I am caught in?
When "they" tell you that you can have it all, "they" fail to mention that it comes at a price.
Work, parenting, and keeping up a home are three full time jobs.
This is an unrealistic expectation.
So why are we still chipping away at it? It is our dream? Is it the ideal? Is it what we really want?
Or do we simply believe a lie; if you just try harder, eventually you'll get it right.
Maybe its not us!
Maybe we aren't getting it right because its not possible.
Maybe we aren't meant to teach our children phonics while thinking about the financial projections for next years first quarter while simultaneously doing dishes.
Perhaps that is abnormal!
And I am just another normal working mom. (Yay! I'm normal!)
So like LarryBoy, we're caught by the fib from outer space (for the Veggie Tale fans) waiting for someone to speak the truth!
I have no answers but I love to search for truth and I hate to be caught in a lie. I will continue to look for places in my life where this lie has got me pinned, and fight back with the truth.
Here I go...
My friends were talking about being overwhelmed by life. The stress of trying to balance home, work, kids, business partners seemed to be taking its toll. They were exhausted. Done. Kaput.
Where do you go from Kaput?
Here is the epiphany part: its NOT just me!! It seems everybody felt this way. We are all normal, well-adjusted women having a normal reaction to abnormal expectations.
While I listened, I wanted to swoop in and save my friends. Perhaps I could come up with some brilliant advice that would change their lives and make it all better. I racked my brains and came up with nothing. Nothing helpful. No solutions. No easy answers.
How can swoop in and save my friends from the same lie that I am caught in?
When "they" tell you that you can have it all, "they" fail to mention that it comes at a price.
Work, parenting, and keeping up a home are three full time jobs.
This is an unrealistic expectation.
So why are we still chipping away at it? It is our dream? Is it the ideal? Is it what we really want?
Or do we simply believe a lie; if you just try harder, eventually you'll get it right.
Maybe its not us!
Maybe we aren't getting it right because its not possible.
Maybe we aren't meant to teach our children phonics while thinking about the financial projections for next years first quarter while simultaneously doing dishes.
Perhaps that is abnormal!
And I am just another normal working mom. (Yay! I'm normal!)
So like LarryBoy, we're caught by the fib from outer space (for the Veggie Tale fans) waiting for someone to speak the truth!
I have no answers but I love to search for truth and I hate to be caught in a lie. I will continue to look for places in my life where this lie has got me pinned, and fight back with the truth.
Here I go...
TRUTH # 1 - I do NOT have to do this all by myself! I can ask for help!
3 Comments:
so....what's the solution??
I guess we could all move into smaller homes, in lower income neighborhoods and sell one car. Then we girls wouldn't have to work. Then we would only be doing 2 jobs. (housework, kids, and budgeting. Oh wait. That's still 3)
But...what if...you SUCK at that part? What if you are doing a job for FREE that you would get FIRED from anyplace else?
What then? What do you do when you are aware that you are doing a crappy job at all the Mom stuff....who can you hire then? (i'm not saying I'm a bad Mom...I'm just not good at the administration it takes to run a household! Heck...It took me forever to learn that they need to eat 3 times a day (at least!) and that the hubby likes a meal around 5pm. Who can I hire to make that meal everyday?
*sigh*
However, I must say...that since I got an 'outside' job, I feel more able to do the rest of the "not-so-great-at-it" parts of my life. Perhaps it's because I feel at least confident and able (even sucessful?) in one area...and it makes the rest of them tolerable.
So even tho I'm now working HARDER...I'm feeling better about myself.
So is that the key for some of us? Having something that gives us confidence? For some, that just MAY be the domestic administration piece. (not me, however)
I agree. Most women feel like they are doing a bad job, or at least drowning in the jobs they have.
What IS the solution? (after we realize we are normal?)
*ps...I loved it last night! And you shoulda tried my chicken sushi....but I didn't wanna share. it was TOO GOOD!
nice new blog - I like it!!
C
Why don't men feel this way? They don't seem to have this stress about being a dad, a worker and taking care of a home. Or are they just silent about it?
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