Love and Marriage...
The other day my husband and I went for coffee with some friends we hadn't seen in a long time. We got to talking about other friends from the past that we used to play volleyball with. Of the eight couples (including us) that hung around together, FOUR were either separated or divorced already. I understand this is in keeping with the national average, but when its people that you actually know, that statistic becomes much more real and more scary!
HALF of marriages end in divorce! The reality of the statement is very sad.
So I started thinking, what is it that will keep my marriage from becoming a part of that horrible statistic? Outside of God, nothing. I could not think of one thing besides the grace of God that can keep a marriage together.
We've all heard the psychologists claim that COMMUNICATION is the cure-all that will save marriages. But how do you communicate with someone you can't trust? If you can't be open and vulnerable and share your heart, then you have nothing to COMMUNICATE about.
So is being able to trust someone the answer? I'm finding that trust is essential, and that comes slowly after a long time of showing love to one another. Saying it is one thing, but showing it is way harder.
But you can trust someone and still think they are a dork. (I am not talking about my husband by the way, he is really cool) So, it has to be beyond trust. Once you trust each other, you still have to love him/her even when they are a dork! So its UNCONDITIONAL love that carries over the long haul, because at one time or another, we all act like jerks and still need to be loved and forgiven.
I have yet to meet any human being capable of unconditional love, all the time. That has to come from God. I know I need grace NOT to plot my husband's murder from time to time.
I thank God that I know Him and that He is gracious enough to keep my marriage alive and well. And keep us both from murdering each other. And I hope I'll be brave enough to share with all our non-Christian friends. I'm still kinda wimpy about that, but that's a whole different issue!
The other day my husband and I went for coffee with some friends we hadn't seen in a long time. We got to talking about other friends from the past that we used to play volleyball with. Of the eight couples (including us) that hung around together, FOUR were either separated or divorced already. I understand this is in keeping with the national average, but when its people that you actually know, that statistic becomes much more real and more scary!
HALF of marriages end in divorce! The reality of the statement is very sad.
So I started thinking, what is it that will keep my marriage from becoming a part of that horrible statistic? Outside of God, nothing. I could not think of one thing besides the grace of God that can keep a marriage together.
We've all heard the psychologists claim that COMMUNICATION is the cure-all that will save marriages. But how do you communicate with someone you can't trust? If you can't be open and vulnerable and share your heart, then you have nothing to COMMUNICATE about.
So is being able to trust someone the answer? I'm finding that trust is essential, and that comes slowly after a long time of showing love to one another. Saying it is one thing, but showing it is way harder.
But you can trust someone and still think they are a dork. (I am not talking about my husband by the way, he is really cool) So, it has to be beyond trust. Once you trust each other, you still have to love him/her even when they are a dork! So its UNCONDITIONAL love that carries over the long haul, because at one time or another, we all act like jerks and still need to be loved and forgiven.
I have yet to meet any human being capable of unconditional love, all the time. That has to come from God. I know I need grace NOT to plot my husband's murder from time to time.
I thank God that I know Him and that He is gracious enough to keep my marriage alive and well. And keep us both from murdering each other. And I hope I'll be brave enough to share with all our non-Christian friends. I'm still kinda wimpy about that, but that's a whole different issue!
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