Here is what I was hashing out in my little brain at 3 am.
(couldn't sleep as my noggin wouldn't wind down)

I was thinking about leaving my family of origin when I got married and how having kids has created a family that is a new entity. Many of the values and ideas about family that my husband and I brought into this marriage were contrary so we had to negotiate to find neutral ground or agree to disagree. All good things. So some of my values, and ideas about family have changed from what I grew up with.

What I am conflicted about is being able to separate from what was "right" when I was growing up without judging it under my new set of values/standards etc.

I know that honoring your parents is a spiritual law that always pays off, and must be obeyed. Not only for that reason do I want to respect what my parents taught me, the other reason is very selfish. What goes around, comes arond baby!

I know someday my kids will judge what D.J. and I have taught them as parents, and I hope we instill some good stuff even though I know we'll screw up other things. All parents do their best, and maybe that's where grace comes in.
I guess I feel guilty for abandoning some of the values that I were displayed in my family but now I think they were not right.
The guilt comes in because who am I to judge my parents? And its my job to honor them and to be grateful for all the good that they have taught me.

Its all apart of growing up and letting go, cause I'm the mommy now!
How freaky is that???? Still feels weird sometimes.