To the Grammar Harpies...

Alright people, listen up!

Apparently I've been typing too quickly lately, and not spell-checking, and not proof-reading or doing any editing of any kind.
Does this make me a BAD person? No!
Does this make me a lazy person? Perhaps!

But you have not heard my side of the story so please, listen before you judge me. (Oh, and try to overlook the "harpie" comment above....ha ha ha)

Apparently you are reading the part of the entry where it says what time I posted, so the "too late at night" (early in the morning) excuse is out the window. However, I've thought of some new excuses for you to consider in dismissing my poor grammar and spelling.

Excuse #1 - I was high on various narcotics while posting.

Excuse #2 - I am so highly educated that I'm confusing the grammar from several of the languages I have mastered over the years. Actually, saying "I am took a ballet class" is correct in a direct translation from Greek.

Excuse #3 - I am so undereducated that I have taken to using the grammar acceptable in urban slang. Das' wack! Das' phat! Yo! I am took a ballet class homie!

Excuse #4 - I was too lazy to spell check but I think I can get away with it by being cutsie and winking at you. *wink, wink*

Pssssst.....is it working? Are you charmed? Have you forgiven me? No?
Alright! Maybe "harpie" is a strong word! I shouldn't have said "grammar harpie". I'm sorry. How about grammar nazi? Is that better? Oh, worse! Hmmmmm....

Let's start again.....
To all the "Grammatically Conscious Protectors of Propriety within the English Language."
How's that?
Am I invited to the next G.C.P.P.E.L. conference?
And more importantly, am I forgiven?