I had an insightful conversation with Isabella while driving in the van the other day. She had just been naughty after pre-school and I told her that needed to stop very quickly or she would have a consequence. The conversation below is what followed...
Here is a transcript of our conversation:I: Mommy, what if God gave you a naughty daughter who disobeyed all the time, would you give her away?
E: No, I would teach her how to behave and not be naughty all the time.
I: Yes, but what if you couldn't teach her? What if she was just bad?
E: Children are not bad, children get taught by their parents, so if a child is naughty, it is the parent's job to teach that child how to be kind and obedient.
I: What if you just couldn't teach her, then would you give her away?
E: No, because the children God gives me are mine, and I would love them anyway. Even if she was naughty all the time, I would keep her. I would just keep trying to love her.
I: Oh!
E: Do you think that you need to be good for mommy to love you?
I: Noooo....but its hard to be obedient... but its easy to be loving, you love me lots because I'm really loving and you love cuddling me.
E: What's the difference between being good and being loving?
I: Good is just being obedient but loving is good
with kindness, and obedience can be good
without kindness so loving is
much better. I'm good at being loving.
After this, she got bored of that topic and moved on to talking about "loud Michael" at pre-school who never obeys the Panis (teachers) and yadda yadda yadda...
I was stuck on her last sentence. "You can be good without kindness but loving is good
with kindness." That's it right there. That is difference between being religious and being a godly person. My four year old gets it.
Just being good doesn't cut it. You can obey all the rules, and get everything looking right from the outside and still be cruel (without kindness). But if you are loving then the kindness is built in automatically and the good will be there too! With the correct motivation and intentions in the heart. Loving is good
with kindness.
Maybe this is why Jesus said, "Love another as I have loved you" and not "Obey all the rules and be good all the time." When we act out of love and we are motivated out of a right heart.
If we are loving, we will get the whole picture.
I learn so much from my kids.