Windows
The other night I was getting ready for bed. Before I put on my pajamas, I closed the blinds in my bedroom windows so as not to put on a show for any people who might be walking through the park. As I did this, I had a thought about windows...
Aside from exhibitionists who get a thrill out of exposing their nakedness to the world, most of us close the drapes while we are undressing/dressing. Especially at night, when a little light inside can create a big show outside. Most of do not want our naked selves on display. It is particularly unnerving to feel exposed to an anonymous audience. With open windows, anyone could be watching. It is the cliche nightmare of public humiliation being in front of your peers in your underpants.
This is a little bit like the blogging world. Each blog is a window into a person's life. However, it is not the open window at night peeping in on a unsuspecting soul. While it is on the internet and could be visited by anyone who cared to lurk, each blogger has a lot of control on their site.
If we stop and think for a moment about how much concern we give to how we dress ourselves. Each time go out into public, it is a bit of a show. We make a statement to the world through the image we portray ourselves through our clothes, our hair, our posture, our facial expression, our tone etc.
For example, there is one show for the job interview -put-together, organized, confident, calm, responsible- clothes, hair, shoes, jewellery all neatly arranged to make a statement. This is very different from the show on the way to the gym, the sweats, running shoes, hair tied back etc. Different purposes require different personas.
What we portray to the world is a combination of our purpose and our audience. Our purpose is the goal of each daily charade, what are we trying to achieve by putting ourselves out there? Our audience is a combination of how we want to be perceived, and who it is we wish to see the show! How is that we want others to see us?
I was thinking when I blog, I write for certain audiences and I edit my content according to how I wish to be perceived. I don't place very private, personal information on my blog because not everyone gets to know everything about me. This is good common sense. Boundaries are good and healthy. But how often do I limit vulnerability because it is the "ugly" stuff. Its easy to write about the positive things when all is going well. Its harder to write about life when its hard, and I'm at a loss for answers.
I write all this to ask a question of the other bloggers out there. How far apart is the real person from the blog persona that we all get to read. Tell me about your window!
Aside from exhibitionists who get a thrill out of exposing their nakedness to the world, most of us close the drapes while we are undressing/dressing. Especially at night, when a little light inside can create a big show outside. Most of do not want our naked selves on display. It is particularly unnerving to feel exposed to an anonymous audience. With open windows, anyone could be watching. It is the cliche nightmare of public humiliation being in front of your peers in your underpants.
This is a little bit like the blogging world. Each blog is a window into a person's life. However, it is not the open window at night peeping in on a unsuspecting soul. While it is on the internet and could be visited by anyone who cared to lurk, each blogger has a lot of control on their site.
If we stop and think for a moment about how much concern we give to how we dress ourselves. Each time go out into public, it is a bit of a show. We make a statement to the world through the image we portray ourselves through our clothes, our hair, our posture, our facial expression, our tone etc.
For example, there is one show for the job interview -put-together, organized, confident, calm, responsible- clothes, hair, shoes, jewellery all neatly arranged to make a statement. This is very different from the show on the way to the gym, the sweats, running shoes, hair tied back etc. Different purposes require different personas.
What we portray to the world is a combination of our purpose and our audience. Our purpose is the goal of each daily charade, what are we trying to achieve by putting ourselves out there? Our audience is a combination of how we want to be perceived, and who it is we wish to see the show! How is that we want others to see us?
I was thinking when I blog, I write for certain audiences and I edit my content according to how I wish to be perceived. I don't place very private, personal information on my blog because not everyone gets to know everything about me. This is good common sense. Boundaries are good and healthy. But how often do I limit vulnerability because it is the "ugly" stuff. Its easy to write about the positive things when all is going well. Its harder to write about life when its hard, and I'm at a loss for answers.
I write all this to ask a question of the other bloggers out there. How far apart is the real person from the blog persona that we all get to read. Tell me about your window!
15 Comments:
Wow. That's a good post. In my case, thinking about this point too much pretty much sent me away from blogging back to personal journaling...
As for me, what you see is usually what you get. I used to be way more vulnerable and creative, but began to feel judged and criticised . Since we do not have control over who reads our stuff, I backed away from what originally enjoyed when I began this on line journalling. It was so theraputic for my heart and soul and spirit. Many times the Lord met me at my computer.
I admire those who are not afraid to let us see who they really are and what they are experiencing. Many a day I have been encouraged by the Lord through those brave ones who are unafraid of what others may think.
I think my window and it's regulations are pretty simple.
When it comes to me, I'm pretty open. However, if the information I'm writing exposes or directly reflects on another person...i self-censor.
For example...I wouldn't write about an arguement I had with someone....because that person would be exposed. I won't write about a fight with my husband, because then he is exposed. I won't complain about church-life-issues, because then they are exposed.
My blog is about me. I'll write about my struggles and thoughts, as they pertain to me. Sometimes I'm walking thru things that I simply don't blog about...merely to protect the privacy of others. If they wanted to share...they would have a blog. it's not my job to share their lives....just mine.
I actually think that vulnerability is good on blogs...to an extent. We are constantly pretneding to have it all together. We present ourselves to the world as would like to be percieved. Mostly because others are doing so, and we grow to believe that we are the only ones who are confused, messed up, and broken.
The truth is that everyone is messed up, and broken. Everyone has addictions, and this does NOT disqualify us! The church has taught that self-disclosure is bad, and being messed up disqualifies you from 'ministry'. That's a lie from Hell. Openess and honesty is LIFE giving, because when people see that leaders aren't perfect, they finally can walk into healing, knowing they will not be judged or scoffed at.
But back to blogs. I think blogs are a great way to start to show some real-ness. Drop the curtains, people...and show a little leg!
Well, since my blog is often neglected (I still plan to answer your questions, Erica!) I can't really say how vulnerable I am.
As for my windows, however, we are curtain and blind free! So yes, I undress at night, usually off to one side, away from the window, and only with the lights off! Should I expect some drive-by's? ;)
natasha says i only have one layer... is that reflective on my blog?
Sean-o,
I think your blog reflects only one FACET of your personality.
Its light, fun, funny, and quirky.
I do not think that encompasses the whole of who you are, however.
You know I would never argue with the lovely Natasha. If she says you have only one layer then it must be so, but if I may suggest that you are one multi-tiered strata within an enriched, unique larger layer. I think that might be a more accurate description of your personality. I think the silly, sparkling wit Sean is just the surface Sean.
But hey...what do I know?
I'm a pretty open window. I share my heart willlingly. Of course I don't share ALLL - but what I do share is very genuine.
I think my blog is much like my curtain. It tends to be open.
I figure it's my space, if someone wants to peer in, they best be ready for what they might see. I am not perfect and neither is my life. If they don't like what they see (or read), then don't look.
Erica
Gee....is it weird that after your comment to Sean-o about layers....I got hungry?
Words like "Multi-tiered" and "enriched" "larger layer"....
I need some cake....
Erica,
You have some great thoughts here. I think our blogs can be pretty much whatever we want them to be. I have not blogged much lately, but when I do it's usually about my family life or my writing. I hope that what you see is what you get! I had someone contact me recently about a personal matter and one of the reasons she did so was because she said after reading my blogs, she felt I was sincere.
I am who I am. Flawed and scarred, but pressing on through Christ who strengthens me.
I don't have a lot of people who read my blog, so I suppose there is some safety in that. But for those who do, take it or leave it.
yvonne - i also need some cake!
mmmm....
cake....
Sean and Yvonne,
Now I want some cake!
I'm so impressionable!
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Great, thought-provoking post, Erica! Am I honest on my blog? Oh, absolutely! Does it truly reflect my heart cry? Most certainly, NO! Is that a contradiction -- who cares! It's a fact!
Over the years, I have learned there is great value in seeking to overcome the negative, disheartening stuff in life by focusing on the positive, creative stuff. The positive stuff on my blog is not false! It is the truth on which I am placing my focus. It is, however, simply the visible tray of the balance. What is in the shadows, unseen, is the second pan of the scales holding the weights of life!
I censor myself big time. God is the only one who gets the full goods. Rob's pretty close, but I'd be divorced if I let my mouth blab out my worst sinful reactions at times of stress. I don't believe that many people could handle me at full throttle. Example: when I recently sent out an email looking for other students' experiences getting their faith-based education recognized by secular institutions, someone told me that I sounded aggressive. I do try to create windows into my life. I find my closest friends are the ones who push for that curtain to go back a bit further, and don't judge quickly when they see something unfamiliar.
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