They've Got Personality...

There was a time when you took out the camera, and the girls would give a smile or giggle.
That time has clearly passed!!!





Orange is the new pink, green is the new brown and in my house, silly faces are the new smiles!

Foxy Cleopatra...

Sure she's a whole lotta woman NOW but she too once had a foxy little fro'!

Perhaps she started out looking a little like our little foxy Isabella...


We brushed out her curls into a fro, then took a picture, then I posted it on my blog!
How much therapy will she need????

Holed-Up!!!

Today I'm hiding in my house. Don't want to do anything or see anyone, just hide away with me and my girls.

Yesterday was busy and tiring.

Star Wars III

Last night, D.J. and I went on a hot date, which turned into more of a parenting conference.
I know all the dating books say don't talk about the children while you're on a date but every once in awhile its nice to just speak our minds without being wary of little ears listening in.

We went and watched Star Wars III. I am not a big Star Wars fan so I have no right to give my thoughts on the movie, as I would offend all the serious fans out there.
Who am I kidding??? No Star Wars fans would read my blog, so here goes....

General Grievous - anyone who feels the need to have four light sabres is seriously overcompensating for something!

Senator Palpatine/Sith Dude - I understand that skin/blemish issues can make you cranky, I get upset by lines and wrinkles too! But killing little jedis is taking your frustration a bit too far! Maybe he could try a strong, night-time wrinkle cream!!!

Padme - Aside from her hair looking fabulous, probably needs to take a co-dependency course

Anakin/Darth Vader - Has some serious father issues, for which he needs deep inner healing. And when he is angry and his eyes go all freaky???? Two words - color contacts!

Yoda - He is my little green friend and I think he rocks! I just wanna squish his little green cheeks and buy him an ice-cream cone, but if I tried he might kick my @**!!!

Obi-Wan - Although its hard to see through the drabby dresser facade, I think his feelings for Anakin are a little suspect, I'm not saying he's gay but I think he's gay.


There, I said it. Have I offended anyone?

Ow! Ow! Ow!

I spent the better part of yesterday and today on the beach at the lake.
It was a beautiful, lovely weekend.

By lunchtime today I thought, "how cute, I freckled a little"
By two o'clock I thought, "oooo! I should be careful, I look a little pink"
By four o'clock I gasped, "Egad! I'm a great red blotchy lobster! Ouch!"

Note to self: Put on sunblock at cute, freckly stage!

Garage Sale???

I have WAY too much stuff in my house. The time has come. It must go.

I'm still not sure what to do with it all but since its been so long that I've wanted to get rid of stuff, I've decided to outwit, outsmart and outplay the procrastinator in me. To motivate myself to do something I will irritate the neurotic in me.

I'm taking everything that needs to go out of the house and piling it in my living room. That way everytime I walk into the house I'll either FREAK OUT or get my butt in gear and do something about all the excess stuff.

I still haven't decided if I should just give it all away to a charity or something or if I should bite the bullet and have a garage sale. A garage sale is a big hassle but on the other hand, I could put the extra money towards a good training bike. And on the other hand, if I give it away, there may be people out there who need my stuff. Not sure what to do...

Any thoughts???

Meek...

Awhile ago, my friend Sean was thinking about the meek inheriting the earth and what that really means. His thought was contagious, and now I too have been thinking about it.
When I look around at the world, I don't see too much meek inheritence going on...

Here are some of the synonoms for the word meek:

acquiescent, compliant, deferential, docile, forbearing,
gentle, humble, lenient, long-suffering, longanimous, lowly,
manageable, mild, milquetoast, modest, nothing, orderly,
pablum, passive, patient, peaceful,
plain, resigned, schnook, serene, soft, spineless, spiritless,
subdued, submissive, tame, timid, tolerant, unassuming,
unpretentious, unresisting, weak,
weak-kneed, wishy-washy, yielding, zero

(I highlighted some of the particulary horrific words!)

Yikes! I'm pretty sure, that Jesus wasn't telling people to be spineless, spiritless and weak!

Here is what the greek translation of the word Jesus used for "meek" means:
"the wild horse that has become obedient to the bit and bridle"

That doesn't sound anything like a timid, compliant nothing. It is a powerful beast that has purpose! However, the purpose does not belong to the wild horse anymore, its held in the reins of the rider.

So....the powerful, strong people full of energy and zeal who've given their will over to God will inherit the earth? This makes a little more sense to me. Living out the purpose and plans for your life under the guiding hand of Someone who knows what They are doing, is bound to have great results in terms of success, inheriting what the earth has to offer etc. Its good sense.

But I think there is still more to it than that. I think its more than about getting stuff and material possessions. There are people who have lots of stuff but still aren't meek.

Maybe handing over your reins, purpose, zeal, energy and will gives you more than stuff. Maybe gaining the earth means gaining contentment and peace. Maybe there is peace and rest in letting go of the striving. I've heard that untamed horses use lots of energy just running in circles and making a lot of noise. That sounds very inefficient, and I'm nothing if not efficient.

Maybe a contended spirit is able to enjoy what the earth has to offer, not just nature and beauty but what we already have, and maybe that's what it means to really inherit what is ours.

What are your thoughts Pastor Sean?

Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, Nor Hail...

You want your mailman to be like an expensive sports car; precise, agile, responsive and fast.
My mailman is a Porsche. He was bred for world reknown efficiency and precision. (I'm pretty sure he must have been engineered by the Germans.)

He wears a tight hat and wrap-around shades to reduce wind resistance. He strides up to each mailbox, butt-cheeks clenched (he wears spandex) with speed and determination. The mail passes from one hand to the other with agility of a stage magician. In a flash, the mailbox is closed, the free hand is back in the mailbag grasping the next delivery while he has turned on his heel headed in the direction of the next house.

If you happen to be in the front yard, he will smile and say good morning without breaking his stride. You must be careful to listen, because he passes by so quickly, only the "g" and "ing" are audible to the human ear. This speedy rolodex in spandex is a site to behold, but my mail is always there by 11:00am, SHARP! He is a mailman! A male man, mailman!

Yesterday, I noticed something missing from my mailbox. There was no mail. I waited.
11:01, 11:02, 11:03...no mail. What could have happened? By 11:30, I was worried. Maybe he was having a tune up? His shock and struts seem normal the day before, was he in an accident? He does take some of the corners around fences kind of fast. Maybe too fast?

A thought crossed my mind, perhaps I had no mail today. Maybe he bi-passed the mailbox, I distinctly remember blinking at 11:02am. Perhaps I had missed him. With a sigh of relief, I went on with my day....

At 3:30 pm I was putting in my front flowerbeds, when an unfamiliar man stumbled up to my mailbox. He fumbled through his mailbag and took out two pieces of mail which he placed (separately) in the box. He slowly turned around and looked at me with a stunned gaze. He manage to mumble something that sounded like "Hello", and I managed a polite "hello" and tried to smile. He set out again at a leisurely pace to the next mailbox where he stopped again.

What has happened? Where is my mailman? I'd gone from a sleek Porsche to a rusty Chevette with a bad muffler. Was the post office angry with me? I buy stamps! I pay taxes! I swear! I only made that "snail mail" comment two times! Three times tops! Why are they doing this to me??? WHY? WHY??

To stop my hysterics, I slapped myself in the face with the spade. I sat on the front step and imagined my future--- cashing cheques in lines at the bank with the 4:00pm rush with people who work outside the home! The horror! I wiped away a tear, and braced myself for a future of mailess mornings. I am a strong woman, I can deal with it. I blew my nose and went back to my begonias.

This morning, after breakfast I walked with sad steps to collect the paper and found today's mail in the box!!! Could it be so? I looked up and down the street and there he was!!! Like a vision in spandex, speed-walking up the street. I smiled at my speedy gonzalez, and I think I may have saluted. A little.

Pot-Belly Hang-Over...

I've done it again.
Overdoing the alcohol gets a quick response from the body which says, "uh-uh-uh..too much!"
Well, over-eating is no different, you just replace a headache with a tummy ache.

Much like drinking (either to celebrate or to mourn) I use food as a pick me up.

Tonight I celebrated feeling better and having an appetite again. I hadn't eaten much in two days so that merits EXTRA food, does it not? My throat isn't sore anymore, so I can swallow LOTS of food! Hooray for me! Let's celebrate, with MORE food!

Now I feel sick to my stomach. The party is over. If I were a purger, I'd purge. But I'm not.
So, here I sit with a gut full of burger, wondering when I will learn.

Isn't there a 12 step program for everything? I'll go look it up on google and see if I can figure out how to cure my disease.
"Hello, my name is Erica and I'm an over-eater."
(Now you say, "Hello Erica")

Soiled Soil...

Yesterday I was so ill that I could barely get out of bed. After much sleep, I am feeling much better. I got up to look at my home which looked like it had been ransacked by theives. Small thieves with little hands that can spread debris so thick that not an inch of carpet is showing anywhere.

Though foggy, the memories began to re-appear..."Mommy, can we play with play-doh?"
I remember waking momentarily from my drug-induced (sudafed) stupore to shout "Sure! Whatever!" and then I was unconcious once again.

It is amazing what damage can be inflicted on a house by two happy, energetic children with ambition to spare. After trying on every piece of clothing they own, (and tossing it aside) they managed to take out every toy they ever played with to set up a store. Apparently this store has no shelves, people shop off the floor. Needless to say the house is a mess.

Like any good procrastinator, I couldn't stand to look at the housecleaning ordeal that awaits me and I had the sudden urge to work on my flower beds. After going to the store and getting the necessary items to avoid housecleaning...er...to work on the flowerbeds, I had the girls help me out. As we stirred up the soil, I explained why there was a cow on one of the bags. Simply put, "It has cow poo in it."

This explanation was followed by 20 minutes of "Ewwww" and "Peeee-ewwww" and peals of laughter. Nothing like poo-poo to get pre-schoolers hysterical with glee. After "ewwww" started to lose some its hilarity, they began to question each other.
"Would you eat the cow poo?"
"No! Ewwwww!"
"Would you eat it?"
"No! Gross! How about your own poo?"
"Ummmm...(some thought required) No! Poo is yucky!"

On and on it went. I like poo-humor as much as the next girl but I have a limit. I don't mean to poo-poo (ha ha) their choice of humor butt enough is enough. Next time I'm just telling them its cow-brand soil....

Homecoming...

I spent this weekend in a small town where I spent the most influential formative years of my childhood.

There is something about going home that always goes straight to the heart.
The good memories and the bad, they are all apart of the place where identity came into being.
There is something about "home" that makes me feel real. Its the place where people watched you grow up before you created any facades, so there is no use pretending. They know who you are.

Identity is something I've been thinking alot about lately. Going back home to where you grow up answers a lot of those questions very quickly.

As I look at my life and recognize who I am, compared to the roles and expectations that I fulfill, there is something very new emerging. Some of these insights are very new to me and some are being re-discovered.

Being around people who know my heart was very refreshing, and allowed me to relax. I think there is some discovery of identity in the letting go of appearances.

I will continue to process my "mini-mid-life" crisis as I find "home" inside.

(This is a strange post...I'm not sure that it makes any sense at all)

Hand It Over...

Today is a special day for my job.
Today is the day I hand over my research and report to the Minister of Health.

I am praying that it is understood the way it was meant to be understood, and that my recommendations are met with open-minds.
I am praying for peace and confidence when I present it.
I am praying for favor, first from God and then from those who need to hear my heart for youth.
I am praying that my work would be blessed, and the information would be powerfully used for God's purposes, I know that it already has been.

If you'd like to join me in praying, that would be great.
The presentation is at 1:30pm!

The Efficiency Expert...

As a multi-tasking mama, I'm always looking for ways to make my life more efficient.

There are they old-fashioned methods, like making double batches of food and freezing half for future meals. But there are books written on this subject, it is territory that is maxed out, efficiency-wise.

I think its time to pare down everyday activities. Let's use mathematical and scientific methods to evaluate the energy output of a mom and find out where energy has been wasted. We are living in a modern age, no need to waste our limited resources.

Here is an example problem: Would it take more energy to get into the shower and shave your legs every so often than just to let the hair on your legs grow out? Or would it be more energy output to walk around with the extra hair weight on your legs all day? Should we include the energy it takes to go to the store to purchase razors as a part of the equation?

Its time to put what we have learned as a society to use in practical, scientific ways to improve the lives of hard-working mothers.

For instance, should we really be doing dishes?
Let's say that every time you wash dishes, you use a certain amount of energy. Let's call that energy E. And you have to do dishes 3 times a day. Let's use A as the adding function and t for 3, the number of times you do dishes.
Now if you stop doing dishes, there will be a certain amount of opposition from the traditional school of thought, let's call this force O. We must consider the environmental gains to the planet by using less water and soap, by NOT doing dishes, we'll call this factor ultimate goal-a healthy planet, U for short. And finally, every mother has limited time each day, should she be spending it doing dishes? We'll call this variable T.

Let's do the math.
E+(A) t = OUT

Wow! That outcome is very insightful. This is just science, people! You can't argue with science. Let's bring being a stay-at-home mom into the 21st century! Science-style!

Thud...

One of my favorite movie lines of all time is from Anne of Green Gables. (But who doesn't love Anne? Come to think of it, who doesn't love Gilbert Blythe???)

Its in the part when Anne is telling Marilla all the wonders of following your dreams and desires, even though they might not work out. Marilla who is more practical and "not given to flights of fancy" says "I'd rather do without flying and thud."

Monday and Tuesday were so busy and crammed full of stuff to do, I think I over did it.
Today I feel like THUD!

When does the nanny arrive so I can back to bed? In fact, the maid hasn't been showing up lately either. I think I'll fire them BOTH!!!

I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

I feel like the Little Erica that could. I put in a full day's work at the office and accomplished more than my goal. While I was doing the analysis on some data, I ran into a statistics problem. I had to look up some of the formulas and theory but once I got into it, all my "high-fallutin, university-learnin" came back to me. I was very happy.

I have been toying with the idea of going to graduate school. However, in the back of my mind was the nagging doubt that its too late. I feared that watching so much children's programming had melted my brains so much that I was past my prime fer book-learnin'! Being able to do a math problem and figure it out boosted my confidence and made me feel like maybe I can...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

I was flying high with that crazy little drug called confidence. I left work with a smile, picked up my kids, made them a fabulous meal, made my hubby's favorite stuffed peppers for him, and went to the gym and ran 2 miles.

Some days I feel like I can fly. Some days I don't. I'm glad today had some altitude. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Dis-Mantle....

I watched "I Heart Huckabees" the other day. Its a strange comedy about existentialists looking for truth and finding meaning in nothingness. Very odd but I thought it was quite funny.

There were two trains of thought being compared. 1. Meaning can be found in life by examining the way in which we are all connected, there are no coincidences in this big dream of nothingness VS. 2. Its just nothingness, there is no meaning and no connection to each other so it doesn't matter what we do, the only truth is found in embracing the pain of life.

Both had the message that nothing matters, and interestingly enough both felt that freedom was found in letting go of the illusion of control...you have to dis-mantle. In other words let yourself become unravelled as you deal with the meaninglessness and pain of your life. And then??? They don't really have an "and then", its just a certain ideal of freedom gained through wisdom.

Here is why I said all that...
I was thinking about how even people who don't believe in anything meaningful, recognize the need to let go of fear, control and anger. Every therapy I ever learned about in university has an element of dismantling, letting go of control and fear, recognizing defense mechanisms and taking them down. Even many world religions teach the same thing, first we need to let go of all our own issues to gain freedom, and get on the path to enlightenment.

Most therapies and religions have a long, difficult process which follows dismantling. Truths to be learned, learning how to change responses to circumstances, having a "healthy" perspective etc. And in every case it is on the other side of this long, difficult path of training that the promise of wisdom, freedom, truth or success are promised.

This thought crossed my mind. Christianity is the only religion/therapy/philosophy where there is strength found before maturity, and in the process rather than as a promise at the end of it. What other god, or therapist says "you're good enough just as you are, I love you right now"???

Our example (Jesus) was murdered and humiliated. We are to become perfect like Him, but we're accepted and blessed long before we ever get there.
What other train of thought teaches that the being curled up in the fetal position crying is a position of power? In our weakest moment we can be aggressive against evil just by asking for help!!

There is nothing else like this. Wow!

Girls....

For all my complaints about having girls....Drama, Drama, Drama...I have to say there are days when I am so grateful that I have daughters.

They can be the sweetest, most thoughtful, darling little people. (Not that boys couldn't be sweet and darling.)

Its their innocence, delicate, sensitive nature that makes you want to love and protect them. There is something so sweet about little girls adoring their daddy, and being so bent on pleasing him.
Tonight Rebecca kept telling her daddy that he is her hero because he can fix things. He's an "ammmmmmaaaaazing hero". As he was fixing the car, she kept running into the house to get me to write him messages that she would bring out to him. The messages were all very similar, "Dear daddy, I love you. You are a smart hero. love Rebecca"
She was so happy, she was all smiles and giggles all evening. To see her so joyful and full of love is something I treasure in my heart.

Tonight during her prayers, she asked God for the two things she prays for most frequently.
A new van. And a baby brother.

Tonight she added a little twist. She asked if Jesus could "send me a baby that wouldn't be too much trouble for mom and dad" and "a new, grey van."

Bless her Lord, there is no one else like this girl.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

I'm very frustrated and angry.
My kids are napping, and I am so tired.

I can't sleep because someone somehow set my number in their fax machine, so it keeps dialing my number every 5 to 15 minutes, and wakes me up.

The phone rings and its just a fax machine tone.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

I finally gave up trying to nap.

I called the phone company and they said they are on it but its still happening.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr....

The Circus is in Town...

The girls were soooo excited to get their own seats!

The menu was exquisite...

The circus is fuuuuunnn...

More ponies pleeeeeeeeese.....

These could be drums.....

What a day...

Dialing in the Dark...

Have you ever gone to bed and then remembered you were supposed to phone someone, or worse phone someone back who was waiting for your call. You reach for the phone and are too tired or too lazy to turn on the light, so you just risk it and dial in the dark?

Been there? Done that?

Its a bit risky. You feel your way around the phone buttons to make sure you're on the key pad and not the feature buttons. Especially if its really late, you don't want to hit redial and wake up Grandma!!! There's nothing worse than scrambling to think of valid reason why you might be calling Grandma in the middle night without alarming her. You don't want her to be offended that you didn't really want to call her but don't want her heart to act up that you're calling so late. Important but not urgent. "Sorry I'm calling at 11:30 pm but was that 1/2 tsp or 1/2 Tbsp of salt in your soup recipe. 1/2 Tbsp? Phew! Thanks, now I can sleep! Good night!"

Once you've established you're on the key pad, you do the counting thing. Three across and two down---nine---okay good. Then you listen to each tone as you push it, as if this will help you identify whether or not you've pushed the correct button. Hmmm, in my third semester of memorizing phone tones, they definitely stressed the "nine pitch" and its unique timbre. Man! Why didn't I study harder for that exam!

You blindly go through all the numbers, and wait nervously counting each ring, hoping to hear a familiar voice say, "hello". Its like being on a game show, "Following ring number two is.....its your sister! Congratulations, you win a conversation with someone you actually know! And for our parting guests, we have the chance to apologize to tired strangers you've just woken up!"

For some reason people find it so disturbing to be woken from a peaceful slumber by a stranger who doesn't really want to talk to them but is to lazy to turn on the light to dial their phone. Odd. I figure the least I can do is pretend to really want to talk to them, we don't need to add insult to injury! I want all my wrong numbers to remember with a smile. But that's just me. And Javier from Belize (whose number is very similar to my sister's) agrees with me! But that's just the kind of guy he is!